Diary of a Weasley Kid
by ChocolateRosePetals
Summary: You know whats worse than be ignored and invisible? Its being a Weasley. This is my Diary about my sad life being Hugo Weasley. Along with my slut of a sister, fat dad, and nerdy mum. No offense to any of them.Ron and Hermione OOC Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1 Intro

_Hey to all this is my Third Fanfiction story_

_Super Beta: DistractedButSerious_

_Summary: You know whats worse than be ignored and invisible? Its being a Weasley. This is my Diary about my sad life being Hugo Weasley. Along with my slut of a sister, fat dad, and nerdy and Hermione are OOC_

_Author's note: I once again do not own Harry Potter. Only my fluff and the way they act._

_Enjoy!!_

Chapter 1 Clarification

**July 15****th****, 4:01 pm**

**My Bedroom**

Dear Diary,

Umm, hey its me, um, Hugo. Wow I feel beyond stupid right now! Okay maybe I should be. I mean Hello! I am a twelve year old boy with a diary. Pink to precise. No I am not bent, Diary. I just think its a cute color!

Umm, I mean manly color!

Okay so the reason I bought this manly pink diary, is because I really need a friend at the moment; Its like I am invisible, or I just don't exist!

Who is to say we all don't 'exist'. I mean what if we are all masses of energy used as someone's chess set!

Okay my brain hurts now! I need to lay down on my pillow.

**July 15th, 4:07 pm**

**My bed**

Dear Diary,

Writing upside down is not nearly as impossible as many say! Well I never finished my story. Well I bought you was because I feel I am invisible. Now diary if you had a brain than I know what you would be thinking. _Shut up you stupid dork and take a __Prozac. _But in all honesty its true! I mean here is what happened at dinner last night:

Last night we were all eating some beef stew mum made. Who ever made beef stew should go to heck! Nasty stuff it is. Well anyways Mum, Dad, and Rose are all talking as though they are only a family of three. Of course I put in my input once in a while.

Rose: Mum can I please buy that strapless dress! It would go_ gorgeously_ with my hair!

Me: Rose, you have the widest shoulders known to man! Are you _sure_ you want to buy that dress?

Okay diary, so I wasn't that mean the whole time, but I was talking!

Later on that night mum came in my room.

Mum: Hugo you are home! I thought you weren't on the account of you weren't at dinner!

One word diary: ouch.

So as you can see I am very invisible! I only have one friend, Scorpius, but ever since him and Rose have been doing "stuff" he doesn't want to hang out with me any more.

I don't blame him.

**July 15th, 6:49 pm**

**My bed**

Dear Diary,

Did you know that you have a description section in the back! I have decided to fill it out for you:

_How would you describe yourself:_

Ummm, I am pretty short for my age. I have red hair, that's kinda bushy, I get that from mum, and tons of freckles. Dad says I'm like Bill, my freckles make me look tan. I am very misunderstood, and have the cutest arse, if I may so myself.

_Do you have siblings?_

Unfortunately.

_If yes please describe them._

Rose is the biggest Daddy's girl I have ever met! If she ever snaps her fingers he would come running! She got the good hair genes. The straight brown hair genes. Every guy at Hogwarts tells me how lucky I am to have a smart and hot sister.

First of all if I ever thought of her as hot that would be incest, and another thing Rose may be smart, but I know her other reputation as the school s...

_Please describe you parents._

Lets see dad is very fat. Well not obese but he is gaining some poundage, and losing his hair. I totally hope Rose gets that gene! Mum told me that dad once was a keeper for Hogwarts. I always wondered how that fat man was one. I know for a fact my awesome skills did not come from him then. Also dad is the jealous type. He is always trying to compete with Uncle Harry. Well diary he is losing for I know that Harry was an awesome player, is not fat, still has all his hair, and loves his kids equally.

Hmm, my mum is the biggest book nerd ever! She recently has to wear glasses for she kept reading in the dark. She never spoils me though so I am not a momma's boy. Also if she ever had looks, then they have faded dramatically. I mean I love her and all, but that one comment has put her in my bad books.

Okay diary I am done writing in you. You can rest now, plus your pages smell like lemon and is making me dizzy. Also my arms are kinda tired from writing in the air.

**July 16th, 12:03 am**

**My bed**

Dear Diary,

Should I let Roxanne corn row my hair? I'll let you think about it!

_I hoped you like it._

_The chapters should get a bit longer as I go on!_

_Please review! =)_


	2. Chapter 2 Babysiter and Thongs

_Thank you to all who reviewed, and the great tips!_

_Demiitria 837_

_mercurywrites_

_Master Sword 41_

_The-Mixed-Up-Girl_

_Super Beta: DistractedButSerious_

_Summary: You know whats worse than be ignored and invisible? Its being a Weasley. This is my Diary about my sad life being Hugo Weasley. Along with my slut of a sister, fat dad, and nerdy mum. Ron and Hermione are OOC_

_Author's note: I once again do not own Harry Potter. Only my fluff and the way they act._

_Enjoy!!_

_Also, Ron and Hermione are Out Of Character, and Rose is 14 going on 15_

Chapter 2

**July 31st 4:38 pm**

**My Bedroom**

Dear Diary,

I hate having to dress up! Mum just put some hair potion in my hair so I can look like normal people. It did manage to straighten my curls a bit. Its like we have to impress them, or something. She told us earlier where we will be going.

Okay so she mainly told Rose, but I was standing next to her so I took it as though she was talking to us both.

Mum: Tonight me and your father will be going out with Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny for Harry's birthday. You will stay at their house for most of the night, until we get back. We both know that dad and Harry had a nasty fight a week ago. Finally me and your Aunt convinced them that it was silly, so they have decided to let it go. Rose, I know you will behave tonight. Hugo, make sure you behave. We know what the fight was about, right? Go get ready.

Diary, I can hear Rose right now trying to get makeup on. I can tell since she groans every time she messes up.

Oh so you are wondering about the fight, huh? Nosy diary you are! Well what happened was while we were at the Potters something got broke. That something was a vase that Aunt Ginny owned.

Uncle Harry saw that Rose did it and he immediately told dad. The thing that started the fight was because Dad started to yell at me for it saying I provoked Rose, or something.

Here is how their conversation went:

Harry: Ron! Hugo did not do a thing! I told you it was all Rose.

Ron: Hugo could have well as done it also. I think he did do it someway, anyway.

Harry:(rolled eyes) Ron I do not agree with your parenting methods...

Ron: So are you saying I am a bad dad?

Harry: If the shoe fits..

Ron:...stick it up you arse! C'mon lets go!

Before I left, I did give Uncle and Auntie a hug. Uncle told me to watch out for myself, and that I am a good kid, just with parents who do not see that. Also even though Ginny is my dad's sister, she agreed with Uncle Harry.

Well diary, that is enough for right now. Mum is calling me down so we can head out. Hmm I am very surprised that she remembered I was home!

**July 31st, 5:01 pm**

**In the car.**

Dear Diary,

If Rose can see this, let her know that she is a stupid hoe.

**July 31st, 5:27 pm**

**Al's room**

Dear Diary,

So when we first arrived there was some tension. My whole family greeted them, and said Happy birthday. I could tell that dad was still a bit mad, but oh well. It was quite funny seeing him trying to suck in his gut next to Uncle.

It was not working.

I looked at them as they politely talked. You could never guess that Harry was 39. He looked as though he was in his mid-twenties. Dad however looked like he was fifty, with that huge bald spot.

Anyways, before the rents left they gave us a speech on how to behave, and showed us the babysitter. She was a plain and homely looking thing. So after they all piled out, we went our separate ways.

James took the babysitter upstairs, to go have fun. I thought he had some standards, but oh well. Rose and Lily went to Lily's room to giggle about girl junk; Like sparkles and fairy dust, I guess. I however went to Al's room. He never came down to say goodbye, so I had no clue if he was home or not.

As I opened his door he quickly shoved something away. When he saw it was me he pulled it back out. It was a magazine with pictures of men.

I am the only one that knows that Al may like guys. He has had girlfriends, but says he is curious about his "team" right now.

So I am sitting here writing in you, while he looks at his magazine. I believe we have a mutual agreement is that I don't mention the mag, he won't mention my diary.

**July 31st, 6:11 pm **

**Al's room**

Dear Diary,

While Al leaves to get food I will tell you about the conversation we just had. It started off as us talking about James.

Me: I thought James had some standards!

Al: No. He will take any chick that will...well you know.

That was mainly it on that subject. Scorpius did pop up sometimes.

Al: Why would he date Rose? I mean she is such a... Sorry there but you know what I mean. Scorpius is way too good looking and could do better. I mean he has the most gorgeous blonde hair, and..

Then we chatted about Quidditch next year. Al can be fun to talk to.

**July 31st, 6:16 pm**

**Al's room with snacks.**

Dear diary,

Me and Al are getting our grub on. I have some chips while Al chews on a banana. No pun intended. I am quite glad that he has not asked about me writing our conversation.

Me: Have you ever felt misunderstood?

Al: Not really. Well not like you, because my parents _do_ care about what I do. Sorry man but its the truth.

I wanted to disagree with him but it is the truth. I opened my mouth, but Al shushed me.

Al: Did you know that James has a thong?

He pushed me out the room, and we went downstairs into the laundry room. In James' pile was a bunch of stinky shirts. Al dug in the mess, and pulled out a leopard printed thong.

Diary, I scratched my own bum at thinking how uncomfortable it might be! Why would he own one? Wait, yuck, mental picture!

Al laughed at my face, and said let's go see if we can catch anything going on in James' room. I never did ask him why he was going through his brother's stuff.

**July 31st, 6:25 pm**

**Dad's car**

Dear Diary,

It seems as though the dinner went well. Dad is somewhat fuming, for Uncle Harry has been offered the position of Minister. He is still considering it. Dad keeps going on about how he could have been offered that too. Mum and Rose are trying to soothe him.

He did have pride in his voice for when he spoke of Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny finding James and the babysitter. I will have to admit that when Uncle Harry threated to snip off James' area, James' face was very amusing.

While all this soothing is going on I am trying to write while hiding you. Oh sorry about the dead bug stain. The fly was getting annoying.

Anyway, we had just finally arrived home. I am so glad because I could not stand listening to dad vent anymore. Also listening to mum go on and on about Rose is making me sick.

I hope she finds this diary, so she can learn what her clever daughter really is.

**August 1st, 12:16 am**

**My Bed**

Dear Diary,

Hey mum if you are reading, your precious daughter Rose is a hoeski!

**August 1st, 2:03 am**

**My Bed**

Dear Diary,

How do flies land on the ceiling?


	3. Chapter 3 Wedding and Firewhiskey

_Thank you all my reviewers!:_

_firefairydog94_

_MoonShoesPotter9_

_The-Mixed-Up-Girl_

_Super Beta: DistractedButSerious_

_Author's note: I once again do not own Harry Potter. Only my fluff and the way they act._

_Also, Ron and Hermione are Out Of Character, and Rose is 14 going on 15_

_Enjoy!!_

**August 23th, 2:49 pm**

**My bedroom**

Dear Diary,

I think my sides are going to split!

Hmm that would make a big bloody mess, huh? Eww, that is gross!

Anyway I was just in my parents room, looking for a tie, when my dad comes in; He was struggling to button up his robes.

The funny thing was he was cursing the robes, saying "Why don't they fit?" and "They fit two years ago", along with two glazed donuts in his hand.

Of course being the sweet child I am I had to comment.

Me: Well father, you could probably get them on, if you did not have two donuts in your hand!

Ron: Cheeky child you are! Speak to me with respect!

Me: But father, aren't I trying to? Okay how about this. There is a obvious large reason why your robes can't fit! You know, a huge reason.

Ron: Stop yakking in tongues, and get out!

He then threw a shoe at me, because I started to laugh that three buttons flew off his shirt. One of them ricocheted off the wall, and clonked him on the head.

Hmm, I think I shall call child services. I strongly believe shoes should not be thrown at kids. Where is that phone book?

**Same Day, 3:01 pm**

**The living room**

Dear Diary,

I can't find the phone book. Dad must have hidden it again. Oh well. It doesn't matter. The social services probably would not even notice me either. They would say,'Who is that bushy haired waste of space?'

My sides kinda hurt from all the laughing I just did. Rose says I will not ever get a girl if my laugh is like that.

Rose: Hugo, you sound like a bulldozer! No wonder no girls like you.

Me: Well Rose it is not my fault that some people find it _easy_ to get others. You have to be very persuasive and _easy_! You know what I mean by _easy_, right?

Ha! She walked out with her nose in the air. She ran upstairs, to put on more make up, I guess. I however am going to find some sustenance.

**Same Day, 3:25 pm**

Kitchen

Dear Diary,

My head is starting to ache. I think Roxanne did the corn rows a bit to tight. Hmm, my reflection in the spoon, does tell me I look better.

Oh wow my mum just came in. She doesn't even have a book in her hand!

She actually looks very pretty, and young. Too bad dad looks old. People will think she is his granddaughter. I wolf whistled at her.

How rude. She is looking around the room trying to see who made that noise.

It has been a minute, and she still does not know. Finally I just waved at her, and she recognized me. I think I am hurt!

No, its just gas from that soda I just drank.

**The Wedding Reception, 7:34 pm**

**Under a table**

Dear Diary,

Who ever invented tables deserves a muffin basket right now. I shall send one.

Well, the reason I am under here, Diary, is because dad is making a total fool of himself, along with two other uncles. They had a bit too much wine, and are now doing some muggle dance.

It think it is the macaroni. Hmm, it looks fun. I will try to copy their moves.

**The Wedding Reception, 7:39 pm**

**Under a table**

Dear Diary,

I just slammed my head on the underside of the table. The invetor will now get only stale muffins!

I can see Al and James a couple of tables away. I have no clue why they are hiding, I mean their dad is very sane and only slightly tipsy.

Hello, their dad is not making a complete arse of himself! Nope he is quietly talking to people, and the children. So why in the world are they hiding like me? I should throw a rock at them.

Holy hippogriff! Dad have just attempted to do the splits! Diary remember how I said attempted. Some of the uncles are trying to help him up. They can't so they are trying to lift him with magic. Serves him right!

Oh, I found out why Al and James are under the table. They are trying to look up people's dresses. Al spotted me watching him, and winked. He then started to mouth words at me.

Al: Hugo, have you seen Rose. Your mum is looking for her.

Me: Sorry I can't read your words.

Al: (sighing) Stop being a dope, I know you can.

Me: She went off an hour ago with some boy.

Al tutted, and crawled away to find his brother. I am however still sitting here, nursing my head. I think I have a concussion.

Just sitting here, nursing my hurting head.

Under a table, with gum on it.

While writng in my manly pink diary.

**The Wedding Reception, 10:27 pm**

**Under a table**

Dear Diary,

It looks like the reception is over. Uncle George set of a bunch of fireworks, and managed to burn down the canopy.

It was actually quite spectacular. I am now watching mum struggling with dad. He is shouting nonsense like, "The party don't stop until I say so!" and "After party at my house." He is a bloody fat twit.

I can see Rose now. She quickly kissed the boy, and ran off to help mum. The guy looks very red.

**My house, 10:46 pm**

**In my room**

Dear Diary,

The after party has just started.

**My house, 10:51 pm**

**In my room**

Dear Duary,

I just peeked real fast at all the commotion. There is like fifty people downstairs. Dad is dancing with mum on the living room table. Uncle Percy was shooting sparks out of his wand.

I should call the police. There is too much drinking going on down there to still be legal. I probably won't though, because the phone is downstairs.

Oh great, I can hear someone shouting at my dad. "C'mon Ron! Be a good lad and see who many firewhiskeys you can drink!" It sounds like Uncle Bill, or Darryl from dad's office.

I can now hear the counting as dad chugs.

He is on drink number ten in only two minutes. Finally after ten minutes he stopped after sixty-eight. Ugh the reason he stopped is because he has puked. The crowd is laughing, and shouting for Uncle George to try.

I am sick of all this, I shall go to bed.

**Same Day 11:11 am**

**My bed**

Dear Diary,

Hmm I wonder how many he can chug, before he pukes.

**Same Day 11:11 am**

**My bed**

Dear Diary,

Wow, a new record: eighty three!


	4. Chapter 4 Fighting and Notes

_Thank you all my reviewers!:_

_The-Mixed-Up-Girl_

_Lost 2 Love_

_Babiilove90_

_prongster_

_Awesomely Anonymous_

_Awesome Temporary Beta: The-Mixed-Up-Girl (thank you so much)_

_Author's note: I once again do not own Harry Potter. Only my fluff and the way they act._

_Also, Ron and Hermione are Out Of Character, and Rose is 14 going on 15_

_Enjoy!!_

_**Sorry that this post is late! But there will not be a new one until about a week or two. I am going to stock up on chapters and send them off to me temporary beta, so I will be able to post in August more. The reason is I have drill team stuff in August from Monday through Friday 8a-5p, so there is like no writing time at all! I am very sorry!**_

_**If you have any questions about the story, feel free to ask them =) Now on with the chapter!**_

**September 1st, 11:30 am  
Empty compartment**

Dear Diary,

I bet you are wondering why I am alone in this room, and why it smells.

Well first of all, it was not me. I think something crawled in here and died. Second is because I could not stand Rose and Scor arguing.

Apparently someone told Scor about Rose's adventure at the Wedding. Rose accused me, but Scor backed me up. Finally I left because their conversation became rated R. I actually have no clue who it was.

Hmm, well the scene of before the train came was kind of funny. Dad tripped on my broomstick, and fell face first in front of Mr. Malfoy. I never knew dad had a colorful vocabulary.

Yea, that is a lie, he uses his vocabulary at me a lot.

Mr. Malfoy smirked at dad's weight, and so dad tried to suck in his gut.

He is getting quite bigger if you ask me. Mum has tried to put him on a diet after the wedding, but that was a disaster.

Ron: Are you trying to tell me I am fat?

Hermione: No, dear! It is good to eat healthier, and well you could lose a few pounds!

Ron: So are you trying to tell me I am fat?

Me: YES!!

I earned a few colorful words for saying that. Oh well, back to the story. I really like Scor's dad he gave me a really nice compliment.

Draco: Hugo your hair looks less bushier that since I last saw you. You must come around for dinner during break!

It was kind of ruined when Dad gasped as he looked at me. He just noticed that I was there. Git. After that Mr. M walked away, and dad released his breath.

His pants' button then flew off and hit Mr. Malfoy in the head.

Surprisingly Mr. M did not get mad. He just picked up the button and laughed. Dad turned a very dangerous shade of red.

Dang! Someone is at the door. I must quickly hide you.

**Same day, 10 minutes Later  
Same place with the funky smell**

Dear Diary,

It is only Scorpius. He came in and smiled at me. He took a seat across from me, and started to speak. After I asked him if I could record this down.

Scor: Sorry about all that with Rose. I knew she would not be faithful, so I've dumped her.

Me: Al says that she is just going through a wild phase.

Scor: Yea well her ways are only part of the reason I've left her. The other is, well never mind. What is with the diary?

Me: It's my friend. I've bought it for something to write in.

Scor: No duh, bud! But the color?

Me: It's a manly pink color, thank you.

Scor and I shared a good laugh, then sat around talking about our summers.

After a while Scor said we should go back. As we walked down the train he said,

Scor: Sorry that I stopped talking to you last year and the summer. Rose did not want me hanging around her younger brother.

Me: Its okay, I am just glad I got my friend back. =) (I don't know why I put the little symbol.)

**September 12th ,Friday**  
**History of Magic**

Dear Diary,

Prof. Binns is extremely boring! He sounds like a car that has been turned on, and left to run. He should die.

Wait, I forgot, he is already dead. Well, I don't, _The Goblin Rebellion was started on four main reasons,_

Oops, I wrote some of my notes in here. Let me do a quick exchange.

Well I am sitting in the way back of the classroom. There is this one sneezey kid next to me. He is disgusting, but I won't dare to tell him to wipe his nose. Last time I did he sneezed right in my face.

I thought I caught dragon pox because of him.

Wait, someone is hissing at me. I will hiss back.

It's Scor. He took the seat next to me, and mimed that he wanted to see my diary.  
Oh, he wants to pass notes.

_Hey Hughster._

**Hello Scor, shouldn't you be in class right now?**

_No. Well Yes, but the prof. kicked me out because I blew up my cauldron._

**=D But you haven't been there long!**

_What was with the symbol, wait never mind. I have no idea how it happened, but oh well. Can I tell you a secret?_

**Sure, unless its a plot to kill someone, then no.**

_Darn =(_

**What was with that symbol?**

_What only you can use them? Oh I was kidding there is not murder plot.._

**Good, because I would hate to get my hands dirty!**

_Hugo, I don't know how to say this, but_

**Are you pregnant? Can guys even have kids?**

_Shut up =). No Me and Al are dating._

**=0**

_Hugo, say something._

**=0**

_Close your mouth, its vulgar._

**=0**

_I will hit you with your girly diary!_

**Okay, umm first its manly. Second, umm wow. Er... Congrats. Does anyone else know?**

_No, I wanted to tell you. Al said it was fine to tell you only. We can't tell anyone else though for awhile._

**Oh well I am honored. =) I don't care if you two are together. Frankly as long as you are not with Rose, than I am fine. On two conditions.  
One you guys will not kiss in front of me.  
Two, don't forget about me. Even though it is easy too =(**

_Hugo, I was a jerk, but I promise I won't do either.  
Well see you later, I am going to the kitchens for some snacks. I will bring you some back okay?_

**Thanks =)**

_The symbol thing is kinda creepy, but =)_

Scor has left. And no, I will not comment right now.

Okay yes I do. I shall quote my cousin Lily when she walked in on her parents:

Oh My Gosh!

**September 16th, 5:37 pm  
Common room**

Dear Diary,

James' conversions are really nasty to listen too! I am sitting in here by the fire listening to James tell Al about his latest lay. It is very hard to concentrate on Charms homework when you cousin is giving graphic details.

Al is just nodding at him, but I can tell he is thinking about Scorpius. They are kinda cute together!

Did I just say cute? Wow I really need to stop hanging around Lily so much.

**September 16th, 5:45 pm  
Common room  
**

Dear Diary,

Okay, I am getting a bit mad now. James is abusing Scor, for breaking up with Rose. I watch as Al nod silently to his brother. I can tell he wants James to shut up.

I am pretty ashamed that Al won't speak up for him. Now James is calling him very rude words, that I will not write down. I don't want to stain your pages.

Okay one word was he is a Buggering Arse.

Now I am getting so mad that I could punch James. How dare he talk about my friend like that. I am going to set him straight.

**September 16th, 6:00 pm  
Hospital Wing**

Dear Diary,

Remember when I said that I was so mad that I could hit James. Well here was what had happened.

Me: Leave Scor alone, James! Rose was the little cheater.

James: Protecting Scor I see! Hmm, does little Hugo have a crush?

Me: No, he is just my pal! Hmm, would your girlfriend like to know what you did with that other chick last week?

James then aimed a kick at me.

So I punched him in the nose.

Okay, so you are wondering why I have a bloody nose, a black eye, and a missing tooth.

Well I missed James, and he started to beat me up. Until Al pulled him off me.

I think I will lay down for awhile, Madame Pomfrey is coming over with a bone regrowth potion.

**September 16th, 11:33 pm  
Hospital Wing**

Dear Diary,

Why does this hospital smell of death? That is not making me feel very safe!

**September 16th, 11:59 pm  
Hospital Wing**

Dear Diary,

Oh, it's the dead rat under the bed across from me. Hmm, not very sanitary!

_I hoped you liked it!_

_Oh if you have any ideas feel free to tell me!_


	5. Chapter 5 Quidditch and Tumours

_Thank you to all who reviewed:_

_Lost 2 Love_

_8thweasleykid_

_Kirstin_

_prongster_

_Clarissa The Strawberry_

_MoonShoesPotter9_

_Love-Jane25_

_Gui Zhang_

_The-Mixed-Up-Girl_

_Temporary Beta for this chapter: LivinLaVidaLou_

_I just want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me, including these four special people:_

_Lost 2Love, The-Mixed-Up-Girl, DistrcatedButSerious, _

_and LivinLaVidaLou_

_Where would I be without you guys? =)_

Chapter 5:

Quidditch and Tumours

**September 20th, 10:03 am**

**Quidditch Bleachers**

Dear Diary,

Some kids should never try out for sports. Especially those who have never heard of Quidditch. It is very humiliating for even me to watch them try.

James is hosting tryouts today for two new chasers and a keeper. I am still mad at him for the black eye, but at least Scor got him back**,** by enchanting his underpants to name every single girl he has been with.

It was amusing, and disturbing.

But back to the tryouts, Diary. Al is helping him for he is seeker on the team. The chasers are up first, and thirty kids showed up, twenty-two are girls. Counting is fun. Most of the girl**s** showed up to try to get James to look at them.Pathetic.

Too bad for them though; James only has the eyes for his current girlfriend.Emphasis on current**.** So far its been an hour, and most of the kids trying out have were an epic failure, or are in the hospital room.

I like the word Epic. It just rolls off the tongue.

Finally James has found two decent people. One is Chaney Yuma, a plain looking girl. Several girls gave her dirty looks when James announced she is on the team. The other is a guy named Link Grayson. He has very long brown hair.

James is now blabbing about Keeper tryouts. He goes through three.

Diary, no offense to those who are slightly bigger, but certain people who are a bit on the husky or fleshy side should not try out for keeper. Its just.. I can't think of a nice word. I do feel bad for their brooms though, I'd have given out on purpose if I had to bear them on my back.

That was the first person, he only saved one goal. The second was a small guy, who looked like you could blow him to India if you accidentally breathed on him. looked as if you blew on him he would fly away to India. He manged to get three. The third is kinda like the first, so no comment.

James tells me it my turn. So let me put you away, but first why did Chaney giggle when he said my name?

**Same Day, 10:57**

**Quidditch Bleachers(Again)**

Dear Diary,

James is very peeved! He had to give me the keeper slot! I am the only person to block all ten Quaffle**s**! I am so happy**,** I could dance.

**1 minute Later**

Dear Diary,

Okay so maybe I did do the macarena back to my seat.

James is going on about practices three times a week. Finally he goes off with his girl of the week.

A couple of people are still sitting in the bleachers. Chaney is with them.

Have you ever had the feeling someone is gesturing behind your back?

Of course not! You are just some diary, duh!

Well I turned around and saw Chaney giggling at me. She grinned along with her ugly friend. The ugly friend giggles louder as I smile back. She points to her cheek.

I immediately turn around and feel my face. There is an odd lump on my cheek. It is sore.

Oh my gosh its a tumour!

**Three minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

Can you get tumors on your cheek? Let me go find a bathroom to look at it.

**Same Day, 11:11**

**Boys Bathroom**

Dear Diary,

It is, it is! I am going to die! Oh no! Let me write my will.

To Al and Scor I leave all my stuff and money.

To Lily I leave a photo of me.

To James I leave nothing

To Rose I also leave nothing**,** for what could a slut want?

To my secret crush.. No diary I will not tell you who she is.

To My parents I leave them the knowledge of not giving me tumor check ups all the time. No they had to take me to the dentists.

Oh my dentists are my mum's parents. The take their job to seriously if you ask me.

And I swear if I have to do the teeth dance for them one more time, I will pull my cavities out myself.

Sorry about the angst, better get back on subject.

I think all that is in order. Let me go give this to Scor.

**Same day, 11:32**

**Library**

Dear Diary,

Al is still laughing. I found him and Scor wrapped up in the library. Al moved pretty rapid to get here from the pitch.

Scor calmly told me its just some pimple, and not a tumour. He says not to pop it, or it will leave a scar.

Al just kept laughing at me.

**Al:** You though you were dying? Wow I can't wait to hear when he goes through the rest of puberty!

I chucked a book at him, thanked Scor for his help, and left for my dormitory.

Hmm the pimple looks very red, maybe Scor is right and I should not touch or pop it.

**30 minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

EEEWWWW! Pimples contain nasty stuff! I will never pop another one again.

I need to lie down, after seeing what is inside one.

**Two minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

Does Chaney fancy me? I hope she does, and not her ugly friend.

_Sorry about the wait, but updates should come every few days or so =)_

_Thanks for waiting, R and R_


	6. Chapter 6 Party, Pranks, and Chaney

_Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter!!:_

_Clarissa The Strawberry_

_Lost 2 Love_

_MoonShoesPotter9_

_firefairydog94_

_Temporary beta for this chapter: The-Mixed-Up-Girl_

_Oh I also have three new stories up, and you should go check them out!_

**What Would It be Like.. **-All HP characters and their thoughts about certain aspect in their life.

**United They Stand, Divided We Conquero**r - about the Potter kids as orphans trying to find their mother, and avoid the evil that seems to follow them.

**Don't Forget Your Vows **-Drama/ Soap Opera about all HP characters, but mostly Ginny and Harry

A/N I do not own Harry Potter.

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**October 31st, 6:08 pm**

**Nick's Deathday Party**

Dear Diary,

Why did I let Al drag me down here. This place smells like death, and rotting junk.

Well I guess a lot of things associated with Hogwarts smells like death.

Yes diary, I know they are all ghosts, but I was talking about the food. I can hardly breath without inhaling the moldy peanuts. Oddly enough, I am still hungry.

I need to find Al though. We have to meet James and the rest of the Quidditch team for something James planned. Maybe Chaney will be there?

Well this party is all not that bad. I did have an interesting conversation with some dead dude. He claims he is the ghost of Merlin. But when I asked him about Arthur he left. And then I chatted it up with Myrtle. She told me of all the times my dad went to the girls bathroom, with uncle and mom.

Even as she explained what they were doing, I still thought it was a bit pervy.

Finally, there is Al! He is juggling balls,(no pun intended) with some other ghosts.

Let me grab him so we can leave.

**Same day. twenty minutes later**

**Seventh floor**

Dear Diary,

We are all standing in front of the Room of Requirement. James is saying that the new members must defeat a troll to really be apart of the team. Chaney is shaking about the idea, but I think James is bluffing.

I told him that, and he says if I don't believe him to go in.

Fine I will be brave, and do it. I will write in you later diary. Wish me luck.

**Same day, Midnight**

**Room of Requirement**

Dear Diary,

James is a muggle donkey's butt!

That liar, shoved me and the other two new members inside the room. There was no troll. We tried to leave, but James locked it on us, and said he will come by in the morning.

I have no idea how he locked us in, but only Al and him really understand this place. I just sorta get it.

So we all were sitting here for about an hour, cold and hungry. Well until I asked for beds, a bathroom, and food.

Only two of those appeared, but Link had candy on him. So we chowed down.

Now we are all in bed, trying to decide a plot against James. I told them I will ask for Scorpius' help.

They didn't even complain when I said we should ask him. I guess they think he will have something good, because he is a Slytherin.

I caught Chaney watching me several times, but when I looked at her, she would turn away.

Do I have another pimple? Scor told me he would help me get rid of the next one.

Well enough drama, Mr. Malfoy says drama causes wrinkles, and baldness.

If only dad knew that. Well good night Diary.

**November 8th, 4:09 pm**

**Locker room**

Dear Diary,

We won our first match!!! Yes I did use three exclamation points, because I am very happy.

The final score was us 190 to 10. Yea so I did let one goal get past me, but I saved the other seven. Al was amazing when he caught the snitch, and James scored two of the goals.

The only down part is I am covered in mud. After the game James shoved me into a mud puddle in celebration. So I shoved him against the score pole.

He was only dazed for a bit.

Well I better change, and go up to the party.

**Same Day , 4:23pm**

**My Room**

Dear Diary,

I don't think I can turn any redder.

When I was half way up to the Common Room, Chaney appeared. She smelled of apples, and sweat.

So we started to walk together, and chat about the game. Well, I was mostly listening and let her do the talking.

**Chaney: **I like how you listen to me.

**Me**: uh-huh

**Chaney:** Sorry about what my friend said awhile ago. She just likes to make fun of people.

**Me:** umm, its okay.

Then, Diary, she said something that made me almost fall down the steps.

We were right by the Fat Lady Portrait whens she said:

**Chaney:** I really like you, Hugo.

Okay so I did fall back onto the steps. Chaney ran to catch me, and helped me up the rest of the steps. When we were at the portait again, the fat lady started to laugh at me. Chaney just smiled, and touched my shoulder. As soon as she went inside, so did I.

Do I feel the same for her?

And that is why I am hiding in here. Well let me go downstairs for the party!

**Same day, 11:02 pm**

**My room**

Dear Diary,

Rose has once again ruined the Weasley Family name. I found her and two boys making out on the couch. The guys weren't kissing, but taking turns kissing her.

Nasty person she is.

And I can not believe, no one commented on Scor being in the room! And that James can walk in a straight line while drunk on mead.

**1 hour later**

**My room**

Dear Diary,

What does it mean when a girl touches your shoulder? Should I have punched her politely on the shoulder, also?

_I hope you enjoyed this one!_

_R and R =)_


	7. Chapter 7 Revealations and Family Moment

**Thanks to all who reviewed!:**

_**Prongster**_

_**angelkitten365**_

_**glowyrm**_

_**Temporary Beta: LivinLaVidaLou**_

_**A/n I do not own Harry Potter! Just Hugo's wackiness!**_

_**Revealations and Family Moments**_

**November 13, noonish**

**Great Hall**

Dear Diary,

Al is looking very miffed right now. James is ranting about how creepy Slytherins are, and how Scor is the creepiest.

I am a bit mad right now, but Al is plain furious.

Oh wait Al just told James to shut the heck up. I better record this. With commentary

**Al:** Shut up James, will you!_ James looks like his brother just slapped him._

**James:** Why should I?

**Al:**_ looks nervous. _Because I said so!_ He is looking around the Great Hall. Everyone is silent and watching them. And what a coincidence, at this moment here comes Scor. Al give James a cheeky look._ Because of this.

He is not thinking what I think he is going to do.

**Ten seconds later.**

Dear Diary,

Yes he was thinking what I was thinking. Al ran over to Scor, and snogged him full on the mouth. The Great Hall went quiet for a bit. Now all the kids are clapping and wolf whistling.

Al turned to James and smiled. James face is very funny right now. If only I had a camera!

Wait Rose's is funnier. She looks as if someone has just stole her boyfriend.

Well technically Al stole her ex. Lily is also just staring, along with the other cousins.

Oh look, I think James is gonna speak.

**James:** Family meeting. Now!

All of our cousins, are filing out the room. James pulled AL away from his boyfriend, and is now dragging him along. Scorpius looks ver confused, but pleased.

Wow, I just realized that I am still here. Everyone is watching me.

Better go to this Family meeting!

Maybe James will break something. Hopefully not over anyone's head though.

Well if it is over Rose' then I don't mind

**Ten minutes later**

**Room of Requirement**

Dear Diary,

Nothing has been broken so far, but the day is still early. No one has said a word, and we are all watching James trot back and forth.

Oh so who is in here is, of course, James, Lily, Al,Me, the slut, Cousin Roxy, Lucy, Molly and Louis. It is like James is teaching a class for we all are waiting for him to speak.

Okay Finally! James took a breath and is now giving some sort of speech. A real soddy one if you ask me.

**James:** Okay, umm. Al, buddy. So umm what happened out there... Well, umm, er.

**Al:** Yea I'm dating Scor, but no I am not gay. I'm just curious about guys. Heck who knows if I get with a girl or guy when I get older. Its just an, er test!

**James:** Well even if you were, you know..

**Me: **Gay. I'm just trying to move this along, before I die of old age.

**James:** Yeah what Huey-boy said. Well not the last part. If you are it doesn't matter, because your family. Most importantly my little bro and I love you.

Al and James are now sharing some brotherly grin.

**Lily: **Yeah, what James said, except your my older brother.

Lily has gone over to hug him, along with James.

**Me:** This is where we all go AWWW!

The family is looking at me, but do as I say.

Wow, now there are all doing a group hug. Except Rose, she is probably a bit miffed.

I fell lonely again right now, my family looks so..together. Wait Al is motioning for me to come over and hug also.

Hmm, I don't want to feel left out.

**Same day, ten minutes later**

**Hallway**

Dear Diary,

After some conversation, mostly involving the girls asking Al how Scor kisses, and Me and James pretending to puke we all set out from the room.

I found Chaney in the hallway also. She was walking the other way opposite from us. She seemed a bit scared, probably because all of us were walking in a big group, and kept her distance a bit. But when I caught her eye, she smiled warmly.

I think my insides just melted.

Eww, is that possible? I hope not.

But diary there is one more thing. As we were walking away, I looked behind her, and could have sworn she was staring at my butt.

Isn't that a bit pervy? Or should I take it as a compliment.

**Same day 11:56 pm**

**My bed**

Dear Diary,

Today was very eventful. After the announcement and meeting, the whole family feels, um closer. We all sat around the common room sharing secrets.

Some, like Rose telling us she did the ugliest guy in her year ever, was gross, but others were funny.

**1 minute later**

Dear Diary,

Like how James once cheated on one of his old girlfriends, with the chick's twin.

And that Louis once went streaking in the snow at Hogwarts when he was fifteen. All because of his father dared him too. Uncle Bill is very weird, but Louis said he gave him ten galleons for it.

Also Molly smokes. That was extremely shocking seeing as she is Head Girl. Of course uncle Percy has no idea, and none of us a planning to tell him or Auntie Audrey.

**Two minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Oh I told them I was the one how spiked the Christmas pudding with fire whiskey and mead three times in a row. They all looked very impressed.

It wasn't hard to do. Especially since the parents were to tipsy to realize that I stole four bottles.

_I hoped you liked it!_

_Sorry if I don't represent Guys' emotions well enough._

_Lol remember I am a girl who is just trying to write about a character who is rarely written about! =)_

_R an R_


	8. Chapter 8 A date, Lookout and Advice

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!:**_

_**glowyrm**_

_**callmedaynuhh**_

_**kaisa sabaku**_

_**prongster**_

_**firefairydog94 (also thank u for adding me to your community: The Next Generation Must-Reads)**_

_**MoonShoesPotter9**_

_**Lost 2 Love**_

_**It really made my day(no kidding, especially after a rough Drill Team Practice!)**_

_**Beta:LivinLaVidaLou**_

_**Oh I have another new story:**_

With 'His' Child- Ginny Weasley

The world she knew is at war. The man she loves broke up with her. Her sixth year at school is spent defying the headmaster. But to top it off she is 16 and pregnant by the Darkest figure in history. How could life get any worse?

_**Enjoy!!**_

_**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**_

Chapter 8: A Date ,Lookout and Advice

**December 1st, a little after three**

**(I can't read the clock)**

**Potions**

Dear Diary,

Professor Slughorn gave me a very good grade in class today. A P for poor. He told me he gave it to me since I managed not to blow anything up this class period. I told him the year was still early.

I don't know why he is the only teacher to give out OWL grades to second years, but its my first P so I better not question it.

There is about five minutes until class ends, and someone just threw a piece of paper at me.

I will tell them off later. Oh wait its a note, and not a death threat. I will write down what it says.

_Hi Hugo_

**Who is this?**

_Its Chaney._

I gulped, and scribbled down nonsense.

**The sky is very blue today.**

_Haha Hugo you are funny. Its snowing outside, and there is no sun._

_Anyway have you heard about the dance?_

**Yea, can you believe its all ages?**

I look at her as she reads it over. She tosses it back at me.

_Umm yea, well I am glad that all can go. All that have a date_.

**I agree. So what did you get on your potions paper?**

_An E. You don't have to tell me what you got. I saw the P._

**I was hoping it wouldn't show.**

I can hear her laughing behind me. She has a pretty laugh.

_You are very funny. Maybe I can tutor you._

**I would love that.**

I look back again, and see her blush.

_Well I am glad that you agree._

_You know I would love to go to the dance._

Okay no matter what Rose says, I am not that slow. So what it took me till this year to find out that the tooth fairy was not real.

I cried for an hour about that.

**Chaney, would you go with me?**

The class jumpsat the squeals. I look to see Chaney, her ugly friend, and two others giggling.

_Yea! I mean yes. Well g2g, bell is about to rin**g**._

I looked back, and caught her eye. She grinned widely at me.

Then I am hit with another piece of paper.

Look here Hugo, hurt my best friend and you will pay

-Holly

P.s this note will explode.

And it did.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_**Twenty Minutes later**_

_**Al's dorm, with Al and Scor**_

Dear diary,

I can't believe I am lookout for Scor and Al.

I can't believe my eyebrow are singed.

I can't believe I asked Chaney out.

I can't believe its not butter. Sorry diary, I watch a lot of muggle TV.

Okay so I got stuck as lookout after class, when Al motioned me over.

**Al:** (making wired hand gestures.)

**Me: **Sorry cuz, but I don't speak mime.

**AL:** What is a mime?

It turned out that he wanted me to keep watch if anyone tried to come in. So now I feel like some pervy stalker. Him and Scor are kissing on Al's bed, and I am across from them.

Have you ever been to the park, and seen this happy dog. Its bouncing around tied to a leash by its owner. Its like the dog is expecting a fun walk. Instead he has to watch his master make out with someone.

I feel like the kid watching the couple and the dog.

When they finally come up for air, I ask a question.

**Me:** Wh**y** do I have to be lookout? Everyone knows about you two.

Al strokes Scor face, and I almost gag.

**Scor:** because we promised James that he would never walk in on us, so you need to distract him or anyone that comes in.

I nod at his answer, and they began to devourer each other's face.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Six minutes later.**

Dear Diary,

I am very bored, and have run out of rubber bands to shoot at Al. Oh look they have come up for air again, and are now shooting the bands back at me.

Well at least I have my rubber bands back.And a really cool bruise. Looks like a map of Britain.

**Me: **So I asked Chaney to the dance.

Al went Awww, and Scor shoved him playfully.

**Scor:** Good for you, bud.

Me: Yea good for me, but I have no idea what to do at the dance. I am only twelve.

**Al:** Its odd that you know nothing about dancing, but know some stuff about...

Scor covered his mouth.

**Scor:** I told him some stuff. Besides his dad won't give him the talk.

Al nodded, and licked his hand. As Scor wiped it on the hangings Al turned back to me.

**Al:** Well Cuz, lets get started on how to be a proper gentleman at a dance. Put you girly diary away.

Al stood up, and banged his head on the bed. Scor kissed the spot.

**Me:** Smooth, and its not girly it is very manly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Same day, 5:01**

**Same place**

Dear Diary,

What does wearing a book on my head have to do with manners?

I am very confused. Al and Scor keep telling me different things. Al says to grab her hand when I greet her, and Scor says only if her hand is clean.

How do I check without grabbing her hand?

Then after a snogging break,(No I meant that they had a snogging break, I just played with my shoes.) They taught me dancing.

Al told Scor his feet will never be the same. Scor just laughed, and continued to direct me.

He told me I got the hang of it.

Now I am sitting here with a book on my head as I write in you. The boyfriends are back to snogging each other as if the other will die.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Five minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Can you die after kissing?

Do I have to kiss her?

Hmm I am in the mood for some chips. Wait here is some snack underneath this boy's bed. What a fatty!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Ten seconds later**

Dear Diary,

Eww, these are defiantly not food. I have no idea what it is. But it said "Hi" to me.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Five seconds later**

Dear Diary,

Should I cut my hair?

Or get a tattoo? Better ask Al.

**Al:** Yes go for both.

Scor whacked him with a pillow.

**Scor:** Don't listen to him. I will do you**r** hair. And fix your eyebrows.

Scor got up again, and began to stretch. It is nasty how Al is watching his shirt rise above his stomach slightly.

**Scor:** Enough snogging, its time for dinner, and I can hear Hugo's stomach.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Same day, 5:52**

**Great Hall**

Dear Diary,

I wonder if the teacher knew we ditched class?

I can tell her that I was kidnapped by two men.

No that is weird. I will tell her that my pet rat died.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**Twelve seconds later**

Dear Diary,

Better find a dead rat. Hogwarts is full of them.

_**Well hope you liked it !!**_

_**I love reviews, hint hint =)**_


	9. Chapter 9 Dance and Invisible

_**Thanks to all who reviewed!:**_

_**glowyrm**_

_**Lost 2Love**_

_**firefairydog94**_

_**callmedaynuhh**_

_**MoonShoesPotter9**_

_**prongster**_

_**HarryDracootaku**_

_**and thanks to all who added my to story alerts, author alerts..etc. =)**_

_**Beta: LivinLaVidaLou**_

The Dance and Forgotten

**December 10, 5:26 pm**

**My Dorm**

Dear Diary,

Scor has just left. He was helping me get ready for the dance. Miraculously he was able to tame my bushy hair. And still have all his fingers.

My head feels like its burning, but Scor said its the potion taking affect. But I don't think my hair is supposed to be turning a slight blond/red color.

I hope he is right.

He also helped me pick out clothes. Al was helping earlier, but when Scor had his back turned Al was trying to put me into a flamboyant shirt and pants. Scor was angry, but Al kissed him, and everything suddenly became better.

Until Scor threw him out.

Its weird how people kiss to make each other feel better. One time when James set fire to an old couch, Uncle kissed Auntie and she was miraculously better.

Weird, right?

Also have you noticed that I am using bigger words? To be honest I have no idea what they really mean.

Oh my roommate, the sneezy kid, told me its time to go down.

Wish me luck!

**Same day,8:06**

**My Dorm**

Dear diary,

Tonight was a total success! Me and Chaney had a superb time!

Okay so it was a bit awkward when it came time for the slow dancing, and fast dancing, well... any kind of dancing, but she told me it was all good.

I must admit Scor and Al looked great together. They were wearing each others school ties. Rose was still miffed, but I bet she feels better after drinking a lot of spiked mead, and going off with five guys.

Floozy

Oh, my hair is red again, but magically blond streaks popped up. Chaney liked them.

**Ten Seconds Later**

Dear Diary,

Me and Chaney had a weird conversation.

**Chaney:** Hugo you know how I said I liked you?

**Me: **yesh, (I was eating, okay!)

**Chaney:** Well I still do. Will you go steady with me?

**Me:** Yesh

Then she kissed me. It was nice, but I accidentally bit her chin.

No comment.

**Two minutes later**

Dear Diary,

What does it mean to go steady? Isn'**t** that how we walk?

**Two seconds later**

Dear Diary,

I asked the dorm what going steady means aloud, and this is what they said.

**Sneezy Ki**d: Shut up you prat**!**

**Twin 1:** Dude get a dictionary

**Some random fifth year girl:** We are busy here!

**Twin 2 (with fifth year):** Are you that dumb?

**Creepy kid:** Can you hook me up with your sister?

Hmm, not what I was looking for.

**December 11, Noon?**

**Potter Family Car**

Dear Diary,

So it is official, once again, I am invisible.

Scor, Al and I were repairing the broken train window when we arrived at the station. It took like five minutes, but when I got off the train my family was nowhere in sight.

I started to freak out, so Al went got his dad while Scor was soothing me. Then Uncle came over, and offered for me to stay the night at their house.

And that is why I am in this car.

Auntie is on her phone yelling at my mum. It looks like my dad was supposed to pick me and Rose up**,** because she was busy at the office.

I would have believed that, but then uncle said:

**Harry: **I was talking to Percy at the station and he said he saw Hermione and Ron a few minutes earlier.

The whole car gave me an I-Am-Sorry look, but oh well. That is what you get for being invisible.

**Same Day, 3:56 pm **

**Al's Room**

Dear Diary,

I am actually having fun here! James, Al and I went over some Quidditch drills. Then we started a mud fight.

It hasn't snowed yet.

Now me and Al are chilling in his room. Al keeps trying to talk about how good of a snogger Scorpius is, buthe stopped once I warned him that I was about to barf.

Al threw a pillow at me. Then uncle Harry came in. He asked me to leave, but Al said I can stay.

Their conversation wasn't very interesting, but filled of how Uncle loves Al no matter his sexuality. I don't know what that means, but it probably isn't a good time to ask.

So I did anyway.

**Me:** whats sexuality?

Uncle Harry has gone red. He is now stuttering.

**Al:** it means what gender you prefer.

Then Uncle gave Al a hug, and I went **"**Awww.**"** Al doesn't seem to bothered about the talk, in fact he told me he is hungry.

Well somehow we are now talking about Chaney and going to Malfoy Manor. Al also told me that going steady means dating.

First I am only twelve, so I kinda know nothing. And two, Chaney is pretty cool and I like her, but she is not my crush.

**Al:** Are you going to visit Scor on the 22nd?

**Me**: Yep, well I hope so. Rose's birthday is the day before, and dad may not get over his hangover to take me. Are you nervous about the whole meeting the parents thing?

**Al:** (in deep thought) No, hopefully Mr. Malfoy will be nice.

**Me:** He is a cool dad, like yours.

**Al:** yea. So what about you and Chaney.

**Me:** Um, she kissed me before I left for our compartment. This time I accidentally bit her ear.

**Al:** (shaking his head) You are hopeless. What are you going to give her for Christmas?

**Me:** I was thinking Frog Spawn

Al just chucked another pillow at me.

**Al:** Hugo its time I give you The Talk. Also the birds and the bees.

Diary, I do not want to hear about bees!

Or birds. One time a bird attacked me, and rose and dad laughed about it. So know I am traumatized.

**Thirty minutes later**

Dear Diary,

EEEEWWWWW!!! Boy was I wrong!

I mean yea I knew some stuff, but did Al really have to go intothat much detail?

**Do you like it??**

**Review please!**


	10. Chapter 10 Birds,Bees and Cottage Cheese

_**Thanks to all who reviewed:**_

_**CoffeyKrum**_

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_**angelkitten365**_

_**callmedaynuhh**_

_**MoonShoesPotter9**_

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_**glowyrm**_

_**Silent-Falls'Lonnie Perez**_

_**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter, and please excuse any bad grammar. My beta/actual sister and I have reached a decision about her betaing stories. She did go over this chapter though.**_

Chapter 10: The Birds and the Bees and Cottage Cheese

**December 13, 12:08 pm**

**Kitchen**

Dear diary,

I am still traumatized by what Al had to say, and I will never look at cottage cheese the same way again!

Which is hard seeing as mum is making me eat cottage cheese, and celery. So excuse the food stain in here.

No one has mentioned that I was abandoned at the train the other day. In fact my mum has not even apologized. Well neither has dad, but I wouldn't expect him to.

The only conversation is how we are going to celebrate Rose's birthday before school starts again. The slut wants a huge party, but my mum only thinks it should be a small one.

_**Two minutes later**_

Dear diary,

I think dad is going to explode, and me without my umbrella! Rose just said it would be cool to have a male stripper at the party.

Wait she said she was kidding, which means no explosion. To bad though. Dad is now laughing in his annoying way, along with mum. I see nothing funny, since Rose is not kidding, so I continue to eat my cottage cheese(EW!) and the nasty green stalk.

Did I just hear my name fall from my sister's mouth? Yes I did, better record this for future evidence.

**Mum: **Well if you have a big party then Hugo gets to invite a guest.

Hmm who would I invite? Scor, of course but definitely notSneezey kid.

**Rose:** No mum, besides Hugo has no friends.

Diary I am more madder that a mad person in a very angry building that is on fire with madness!

**Me:** Hold up, I do have friends! There is Al and Scor, and umm Scor...

**Rose:** See he basically has no one! And Scorpius is not invited.

**Me:** why?

Rose is glaring at me as if to say I better stop speaking before I get kicked in a very sensitive spot. And I really do like my face without bruises.

She meant face right?

**Me:**Oh yea because you andScor dat...

OW! Rose just chucked her cottage cheese(Ew!) at me. Dad is chuckling as mum is fetching me a napkin.

**Rose: **Shut it Hugo! You are so naive sometimes! Just because I have had boyfriends and you haven't had any..

**Me:** I have had one!

Dad has stopped chuckling at staring at me. Uh oh I just realized my big mistake.

**Me:** I mean I have had a girlfriend. Do have one. Her name is Chaney.

The table has gone completely silent. Until I shrieked like a girl (I think I just lost 7 man points) when mum threw the wad of paper towels at me in surprise.

**Mum:** Hugo, honey really? Aren't you a bit young?

Well seeing as Rose is doing it at her age, and dated at eleven, I think I am a bit behind.

**Dad:** Hugo I do not appreciate you lying. It is rude.

**Me:** I am not lying! And if you don't believe me then, I am leaving along with a slice of cake. Good bye.

Bye for now diary.

**Five minutes later**

**My Room**

Dear Diary,

Cake is good.

**Same day, Same room, 3:16 pm**

Dear Diary,

I can not believe dad thinks I am lying!

Speaking of the twit he has just entered my room, and took a seat on my bed. Now I will have to burn the mattress. Great, and I just got it to perfectly hold my body. I believe James has spare matches.

**Me:** It is wrong to enter a room unless given permission. I believe it is illegal in several countries.

**Dad: **Stop making this harder than it needs to be. Your mum and I were talking...

I'm going to stop writing what he is saying. It is very pointless and he keeps stumbling. Why should I listen to what he has to say? He is definitely not parent of the year material, I mean look at Rose! I am surprised he even know where my room, HOLY HIPPOGRIFF WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?!?!

**Me:** Please repeat that last part.

**Dad:** You shouldn't be eating in your room.

**Me:** No, after that.

Dad is now blushing, and muttering to himself. Isn't that a sign of insanity?

**Dad:** Well we, um your mum, you know the one who gave birth to you..

No duh!

**Dad:** ..it is time I gave you the talk if your are going to have a girlfriend.

**Me: **No thanks dad, but I already know everything. Al told me the other day

Dad is making a funny face. Man it is so hard trying not to laugh. I will laugh in my my head

Hehehehehehehehehe. Better listen now.

**Dad:** Oh really smart guy? What do you know?

Is that a challenge I hear? Yes it is! Well let me flash dad my famous smile, and tell him what I know. Maybe I will even mention the cottage cheese

**Me:** Okay dad, well it all starts with the birds and the bees and cottage cheese.

_**Twenty Minutes Later**_

Dear Diary,

Is he dead? Better go check.

_**Thirty Seconds Later**_

Dear Diary,

No nope he has just fainted, (Darn) but I had to give him a good kick to make sure.

**Mum:** What has happened?

Has anyone ever heard of knocking?

**Me:** Mum it is illegal in several countries to not knock. Or so I think.

How rude! She is not even listening to me. All she cares about is dad, and the new lump forming on his head.

**Mum:** Tell me what happened now!

**Me:** Well dad was going to give me the talk, but I told him I already knew it. He then challenged me to telling him what I know. So I did.

Mum is tutting at me as she helps dad up. I am surprised she can lift him seeing how chubby he is, and how slim mum is. Dad looks very dazed and is mumbling something about a nasty devil child.

When did we start talking about Rose?

_**December 14, 2:00 am**_

_**My Room**_

Dear Diary,

He meant me didn't he diary!

_**Same Day,3:03 am**_

Dear Diary,

Rose did mean my face right?

_**Same day, 6:45pm**_

_**Living Room**_

Dear Diary,

Would this be a bad time to mention going to Scor's house?

Yea I think it is. I haven't seen dad in awhile. He must be hiding. Let that be the last time he challenges me, and my experience!

Yea, its dinnertime!

_**Two Minutes later**_

Dear Diary,

Dad is avoiding my eye, as mum finishes her cooking. It better not be beef stew. Rose is being a suck up, and trying to soothe dad.

I honestly don't care.

Diary, I almost forgot what I should get Chaney for Christmas! Maybe I could give her the talk!

I am getting very good at telling it.

_**Two more minutes later**_

Dear Diary,

Remember how I said I will never look at cottage cheese the same way ever again? Well same goes for cabbage.

And mum just had to make steamed cabbage and meatloaf!!

Dad has turned bright red at the sight of it also! Maybe he will explode this time. I have an umbrella with me just in case.

_**After Dinner**_

_**My Room**_

Dear Diary,

No explosion and mum has confiscated my umbrella.

_**Sorry it tool so long for an update!!**_

_**Reviews please, I also take positive/constructive anonymous reviews! =)**_


	11. Chapter 11 Christmas and Cat

_**Thanks to all who reviewed!:**_

_**6aNaElIcA9 firefairydog94**_

_**Ccstoryman Heartstones**_

_**The-Mixed-Up-Girl prongster**_

_**Lost 2 Love MoonShoesPotter9**_

_**callmedaynuhh**_

_**CoffeyKrum**_

_**A/N I do not own Harry potter! Sorry for taking a while to write! There will not be another update till the Saturday after next(My Drill Team and Marching band are going to Bands Across America!!) I apologize for such a long wait!(maybe I will take my laptop with me *ponders thought*)**_

Also all my other stories shall be updated next Thursday at 3pm pacific time. Also check out my other story called The Tutor's Apprentice and his Princess about Ginny/Harry

Chapter 11:

Christmas and Cats

**December 24th, 4:30pm**

**My Room**

Dear Diary,

Mum is making me clean my room for Christmas tomorrow. The family is coming over.

I must admit my room is very scary. It took me a full thirty minutes to clean a corner. Guess what! I have a blue carpet.

Wait Diary did you see that? There is something moving in my room! Oh no I am going to be eaten!

Dear Diary,

I found Pettigrew! He was my pet rat I got a year ago. Hmm he is fatter than before, but maybe he has been eating the moldy pizza I just found.

Uncle Harry gave him to me and told me what to name him. He said it would make my dad blush. I have no idea why, but he was right.

**Thirty Minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

Is he dead? He isn't moving.

**Ten Minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

I have cleaned another corner, but I think I stepped in something. Or should I say someone or some animal for it screamed when I trodded upon it.

Also Pettigrew is alive, but Gordon is glaring at him.

Oh yea I now what I was going to tell you! I made the misfortune of telling mum I was invisible the other day. She told me I wasn't- she didn't even look at me, she was telling this to a plant- and when I told her I really was she broke into tears about how she is a bad mum.

She told me she was going to make it up to me, and she bought me a cat.

Not just any cat but a fat one with a smashed face. All Tangy does is lay on my bed and meows in a long annoying tone.

I gave him a new name every day or hour or minute; It kinda depends on my mood.

**Ten Seconds Later**

Dear Diary,

I just realized something:

I, Hugo Ronald Weasley, am the owner of a (manly) pink diary and a Huge ugly cat.

I am the epitome of maniless.

**December 25****th****, Christmas!**

**Living Room, 10am**

Dear Diary,

I got presents!

Oh where are my manners; I must have forgotten them in my other pockets. Merry Christmas, Diary! I bought you a new pen. Well in honesty it is for me, but still a nice gesture. It smells like popcorn.

Back to my first statement, I got presents. Please do not think my parents always neglect me, but I actually got good gifts. Mum must have felt sorry for abandoning me.

From mum and fatty I received the newest broom: a FastFlier 360. As you can tell it is very fast, and has a cup holder.(well you can tell that it is fast due to the name, but if you knew it had a cup holder than I would think that you are spying on me.) They also got me a dictionary; very lame if you ask me. Rose got me a dirty look. But I returned her the favor by giving her Pettigrew. Auntie and Uncle bought me a really impressive dress robes, and a broom cleaning kit. James and Lily gave me a comb, and styling gel. Al's gift was nicer: a huge package of sweets from Honeydukes.

Last my paternal grandparents made me a sweater. It is purple with a huge H on it. I still do not like the color, I made the mistake at age 3 by telling Gramma Molly my favorite color was purple, but it was better than last year. She made me a purple one with a huge Q on it.

There is no one in the family with a name beginning with Q. Mum says Gramma wishes that I was named Quentin.

Hmm I like Quentin, maybe I should try it out.

My maternal grand parents bought me a toothbrush set with sugar free candy and floss. Cheap if you ask me.

Well that is it for now, I better get ready for Christmas dinner.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

Tiny has achieved an all time low. He has eaten my favorite sock and puked it all over my bed.

**Ten Minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

I can't be to mad for I found out he took a dump on Rose's bed. I fed him my other sock for being such a good pet.

**Christmas Dinner, Kitchen**

**6:09 pm**

Dear Diary,

Well I guess it isn't a Weasley party until half the kids are hiding under tables from their parents, and most of the parents are dancing in a tipsy fashion.

And that gramma Weasley is scolding grampie Weasley for telling rude jokes.

I think they are funny.

**Five Seconds Later**

Dear Diary,

I noticed all the cousins were gobbling the pudding.

Too bad, but I didn't spike it this year.

**two minutes later**

Dear Diary,

They really should try the stuffing. = D

**Thank you for being very patient!**

**I am now taking requests for the next chapter when Hugo goes to Scorpius' house with Al.**

**Review!**


	12. Chapter 12 Dinner,Party,and a Show

_**I am deeply sorry for taking so long, but I was taking a break and reviewing my thoughts about this story. Happily updates will continue every two-three weeks!**_

_**Thank you to all who reviewed:**_

_**Zero Skye**_

_**firefairydog94**_

_**glowyrm**_

_**ThatBookishWriter**_

_**The-Mixed-Up-Girl**_

_**callmedaynuhh**_

_**CCstoryman**_

_**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Dinner, Party, and a Show

**December 27****th****, 4:08pm**

**My Room**

Dear Diary,

Mum is trying to tame my hair. I keep telling her that it is all her fault, but she retaliates by pulling the comb harder. I think I have lost a few IQ points.

Dad keeps walking in and asks mum why she is going through all the effort to "doll" me up. Finally mum replies that she is going to make a good impression to the Malfoys by using me. I hope she is being sarcastic.

Wait now I remember dad talking about trying to get a huge donation from Mr. Malfoy for some sort of benefit.

This must have soothed dad for he is now telling mum to fix my hair; mum just growled at him for a pathetic retort.

**Almost two hours later**

**A Fancy Restaurant**

Dear Diary,

I hate writing under the table, and my head hurts. Mum gave up on combing it and added three bottles of Sleekeazy's Hair potion to my hair; now my hair actually looks good but Al says he misses my small afro.

Sadly the evening has not been going well, and if you do not believe me then here is a recap:

"Dear you know I hate this restaurant; it is absolutely dreadful," exclaimed Scorpius' mum. The restaurant was pretty decent; there were no scary clowns at this one. The lighting was sort of dim, and it was huge. I shrugged and followed the Malfoy parents in. Behind us were Al and Scor who were holding hands.

"We wouldn't have to be here if Weasley didn't give our elf a near heart attack," said Mr. Malfoy.

That's the time I began to study my shoes. I did not mean to almost give the elf a heart attack. How was I supposed to know you are not supposed to sneak up on an elf with a blown up paper bag. I was just bored, because we guys were waiting for Scor's parents.

I looked back up and saw that Mr. Malfoy was looking at me and not smiling, though I could see the small humor in his eyes; which made me feel better.

When we sat down in our exclusive booth, I have no idea what that means but I know we are hidden from the view of others and Mr. Malfoy slipped the waiter some money, Mr. Malfoy made Al sit by him. As dinner progressed I noticed them glaring at each other and saying stuff like, "Evil prat not good enough for my son "and" Old git needs to get laid more often."

But that is enough recap!

***Twenty minutes later***

Dear Diary,

The tense mood is starting to get on my nerves, but the garlic bread and steak is very delicious! Maybe I will tell a hilarious joke to lighten the mood.

***Five minutes later***

Dear Diary,

So my joke did not work, well Mrs. Malfoy and Scor laughed but I think they were trying to be nice, and now I think Al and Mr. Malfoy are about to duel. I should probably hide the knives instead!

***Thirty more minutes later***

Dear Diary,

People are weird! After my failed attempt to hide the forks, for there was no knives in my reach, Al called Mr. Malfoy an ugly homophobic git.

Mr. Malfoy looked as though he was going to explode, but burst out into laughing and clapped Al on the back. He is going on about how smart and cheeky Al is, which that means Scor can breathe again, and now the two are telling insult jokes to each other.

Scor gave me a quick look, but I decided my chocolate ice cream is more interesting.

**Same day, 8:53pm**

**My sort of clean room**

Dear Diary,

Dad kept bugging me about the party, so I briefed him in. He then asked if I said good words about him so I told him that I told Mr. Malfoy he is a fat lard.

Dad stormed out the room while muttering evil words. I do not see why for Mr. Malfoy thought my comment was real funny!

**December 31****st****, 6:19pm**

**Hiding in a corner**

Dear Diary,

I am thinking about attempting suicide.

Okay maybe I won't, but I could at any possible moment!

Sorry to sound like a downer, but Rose's party is really lame. So far only her weird friends have shown up and they are "grinding", some scary attempt at dancing, against each other in the living room. I am hiding in a corner while trying to protect my innocent eyes.

Of course dad is oblivious to the fact that his daughter is basically simulating sex, but he was able to catch me sneaking some frosting off her cake! Mum made this towering cake with eight different layers, each layer a different flavor, and pink with some green whipped cram frosting.

Oh great it looks like someone has spiked one of the punch bowl, and now dad is drinking cup after cup of the stuff.

He is on number ten.

**Ten minutes later**

**Sniffing the second punch bowl**

Dear Diary,

Al, Scor, James, and Lily have finally arrived. It looked like Uncle and Auntie were planning on staying also, but once they took a look of the current surroundings, several kids were making out on the stairs, they booked it.

Wait Diary, I had a revelation! It is time that I, Hugo, have a great time at this party. All I need is the help of my loving family and friend and explain to them that I want to have fun at this party.

**Five minutes later**

Dear Diary,

My loving family just laughed at me. They only stopped laughing when I told them my "fun" involved pranks. Now James is grinning stupidly at me; I can tell he is thinking of some great pranks! He may be a good for nothing sod, but James is very helpful when it comes down to being mischievous.

However Diary I have a few pranks of my own…

**Twentyish minutes later**

**Under the stairs**

Dear Diary,

According to James I am no longer allowed to submit ideas, and only allowed to help out.

My plan was to place salt in the unspoiled punch bowl, but when one guest complained about the salty taste mum replaced it with fresh juice, and then some kid spiked that bowl.

Now James wants me to catch a gnome from the backyard while Al and Scor are on a special mission. I have no idea what is going on, but it will be special!

**Thirty minutes later**

Dear Diary,

I have a very nasty bite on my finger, thanks to a stupid gnome, but it was worth it when it was time for cake.

All the teens were surrounded around the cake, mum, fatty, and their hoe daughter was the closest to it, and I was feeling quite down again and thinking of suicide again. (Okay so I would never commit it, but I was very sad!) I saw how my smiling family looked so happy standing together, but when everyone finished singing Happy Birthday the same stupid gnome burst out of the cake! Pink and green frosting exploded everyone and several girls were screaming about their hair.

The best part was that Rose was covered in frosting and four different cake flavors, and so was dad who was looking very angry as he ate the frosting off himself.

As mum cleaned the two off I walked over to James and found him quietly giggling in back of the room.

**Me:** That was brilliant!

**James:** I know.

**Me:** So is that it?

**James:** You'll see…

**Presents Time!**

Dear Diary,

Oh Diary I did see!

After a few more minutes of eating what was left of the ruined cake it was time for presents. Diary let me point out that Rose had three times as many presents than I did for my birthday!

Back to the story: Well when Rose opened her first gift it was a skirt. I guess it was a skirt, but I couldn't tell for it looked very short.

Her second gift was a toad. Everyone was giving each other looks as though wondering who would get such a gift.

Next was a spider that made Rose freak and knock over the gift table which unleashed the rest of her "gifts". More spider, angry owls, and a few snakes ran wild through the crowd causing everyone to run haywire out the house.

In the center of the commotion was me, James and Al, Lily refused to help while Scor went home after helping Al, laughing hysterically. Of course my dad spotted this and bellowed who did this.

That was when my loving family ratted me out and ditched me to face the wrath of my father.

**Later that night**

Dear Diary,

I am grounded, enough said. According to my dad I am a bad seed and need to be punished.

I do not understand why he said all this; I mean just because I told him the Malfoy's were a better family does not mean he should hurt my feelings. Maybe he is also mad because I ruined Rose's party. But I wasn't the one who barfed all over the stairs after yelling at me.

**Five seconds later**

Dear Diary,

It was him if you didn't guess, but I think my cat Catatouille helped him.

Anyways I am stuck in my room, and there is about a week of break left! Speaking of which school starts soon, and I haven't heard anything from my girlfriend. Scor told me that I should have gotten her a gift. I was planning on mailing her one tomorrow, but dad confiscated my owl.

Now I am sitting here on my bed counting the pizza stains on the ceiling (don't ask but it is James' fault) and it is all because I ruined dad's precious slut's party.

I mean I had a great time, so I should see nothing wrong, right?

_**Thank you guys for being so awesome and reading this!**_

_**I promise to never disappear from this story again!**_

_**Review Please! = )**_


	13. Chapter 13 Kittens and Makeover

_**Don't kill me! I had a hard time getting back in to the groove of writing and I apologize if this chapter does not feel funny. The next one will be ten times better!**_

_**Enjoy**_!

Chapter 13:

Kittens and Makeovers

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**January 4****th, ****8:05 am**

**My room**

Dear Diary,

Today is not going to be a good day. First I have some good and bad news to share with you: The good news is that Carl, my cat's name of the day or hour, is not really fat or lazy as I thought he was. Of course now I have to apologize to him for calling him a lazy bum cat.

What is a good apology gift for a cat? Speaking of apology gifts I never sent a Christmas gift to my girlfriend Chaney. I just got hers three days after Christmas: it was a picture of her and a pink pen that smells like bubblegum. I had to stop Carl from eating the pen, but failed to stop him from barfing on the picture which now smells.

Oh back to the main topic. The bad news is that this morning I found out Carl is neither a boy nor fat. In fact I can prove this by the five kittens now sleeping on my bed. Rose laughed at me when I told my family about the kittens. According to her I should have noticed the cat's…um, I rather not say, but like I would look down there to check!

I guess I should stop saying he and him and rename him. I mean her! Let me see, her new name for today is Carlita.

Well diary I have to go now for three reasons: the first is mum keeps shouting for me to pack up the kittens and Carlita and come down stairs. The second is Carlita just let out a huge hairball on my pillow, and finally I am staring to feel dizzy from smelling this pen.

**11:34 am**

**Train compartment**

Dear Diary,

Maybe there is a greener side to grass! (is that how it goes?) When we reached the train I found Chaney standing with her parents and glaring at me. With all the strength I could muster, and with a very hard push from Al, I walked over to her.

Let me tell you Diary that I am used to angry women, especially being around an angry Aunt Fleur, Auntie Ginny, and mum when they are drunk, but Chaney looked as though she would want me to spontaneously combust.

Would it hurt to spontaneously combust?

**Chaney:** What do you want Hugo? Did you finally remember your girlfriend?

**Me:** I am s-sorry for not getting you a gift, but…

At that moment Carlita meowed and Chaney quickly looked into the rolling cage I had. She gasped and quickly called over her friends. Before I knew six girls were gasping and sighing at the cage.

I have no idea what they are all gasping about; all I see is a gender confused cat and five small kittens. Carlita made a disgusting noise which had all the girls cooing.

If I was a gender confused cat I would have tried to scratch them.

**Chaney:** Are one of those for me?

**Me**: Um yes! Yea I can't give them away for awhile, but I meant to give you one for Christmas.

Chaney nearly screeched for joy before giving me a kiss. Once again I see nothing about snogging.

Diary, now I am sitting here with my family, James' girlfriend, and Chaney and listening to their exciting stories.

**Three minutes later**

Dear Diary,

For some reason all my guy cousins found it is interesting when kittens get milk from their mother. I find it disgusting to hear the slurping noises.

It reminds me of my mom's cabbage (Gross!) soup, and the talk Al gave me…

Also I would greatly appreciate if Scor and Al did not snuggle by me. I mean the hand holding and knee rubs were a bit too much.

I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THIS SCOR SO CUT IT OUT!

**Ten seconds later**

Dear Diary,

Al called me a prude and now he and Scor are sucking face. I was waiting for James to say something, but he is busy with his own girlfriend.

Chaney keeps giving me weird looks and keeps glancing at the couples then to us. I think I figured out what she meant so I gave her a chocolate frog.

**At Hogwarts**

**Waiting for a stupid carriage**

Dear Diary,

The only good thing about coming back is my old friend, Rachel, who was sick for the first part of school, has come back! She showed me some of her Dragon pox scars!

Chaney is kinda mad though because she says I was staring too hard. So I told her that your eyeballs could pop out if someone stares too hard. She just stomped off, but that is what James told me.

**Five seconds later**

Dear Diary,

After seeing those scars I want to catch that sickness now!

Do I have to lick a dragon? That could be a mess.

Wait speak of the devil Chaney is back and I think she wants to lecture me...

**Five minutes Later**

Dear Diary,

What is a makeover?

**Three minutes later**

**Gryffindor table**

Dear Diary,

Scor told me and I don't want one while Al said I deserve one.

**January 9****th****, 3:06pm**

**My Dormitory with Chaney**

Dear Diary,

Chaney has decided to start with my hair. She calls it frumpy and unmanageable. I actually like my bushy hair! The other day an American tourist called me a hippie; I hope that was a compliment.

Okay so that was a dream, but still I like it!

Speaking of dreams I had one about a flying pink marshmallow named Justin. He gave me candy and taught me a song.

I actually enjoyed myself.

**10 minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Chaney refuses to give up. She has already broke three combs, used four bottles of SleakEazy's hair potion and I now have a bald spot.

She told me it was not too big, but I am afraid I look like dad now.

Oh please let me not look like dad, I don't think my heart could take it. I mean would I suddenly get fat?

I bet if I was as fat as dad my friends would not like me. Would you still like me diary?

Probably not.

**Thirty minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Al walked on me and Chaney. At first he closed the door, because Chaney was grunting and I was squealing, but then he came in anyways.

**Al:** What are you two up to?

**Me:** Well I am in pain

Al just stood there and taunted me for he had a chocolate bar. I asked for a piece and Chaney said no because I will get fat.

Like dad!

Before Al left he said:

**Al:** I wondered who wore the pants in this relationship. Well off to snog Scor.

I could have sworn I was wearing pants unless Chaney was wearing a pair also

**Dinner, 7:46pm**

Dear Diary,

Everyone likes my new hair but I don't. Its cut short and very straight, but it is not me. Rachel told me I looked stupid, but before I could agree Chaney gave her a dirty look.

No Diary not a real _dirty_ look, but an evil one.

I hope they don't start a girl fight because I cannot handle this stress

In fact I think I am getting another pimple. After dinner I will ask Scor for help.

**1 hour later**

**Outside the R.O.R.**

Dear Diary,

Besides having a pimple I now have a bruise on my shoulder.

I found Scor and Al in the R.O.R.

Wait Diary let me just add that it looked like they were doing more than just snogging.

Anyway Al punched me when I pulled Scor away, but he gave me a dead worm as an apology. Scor thought it was sweet.

However, I am very concerned at how many dead things there are here at Hogwarts. I should probably call or owl a School Board or something.

**9:23 pm**

**My Dormitory**

Dear Diary,

Scor says that he knows a good remedy for a pimple. I hope it will be painless…

Holy flying boogey! He has a needle.

Time to run!

**Two minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Scor was able to catch me, and hold me down, as he stuck the needle in my pimple. More gross stuff came out and now I feel faint.

**Scor:** Okay Hugh just don't touch it and night night.

Well I am going to bed Diary. Chaney told me she wants us to have a romantic date by the lake tomorrow. I hope we just kiss or something less otherwise I will have to give her the talk.

I haven't given it in awhile. The last person I told was Sneezy kid in Potions and he sneezed in my face! Again!

I thought I had the bubonic plague or something.

_**I hope you enjoyed and are not too mad!**_


	14. Chapter 14 Happy Endings and Fights

_**Thank you for the reviews!**_

_**A/N: Only three more chapters left and an Epilogue!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Chapter 14:

Happy Endings and Fights

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**January 10th, 1:08am**

**My lumpy and funny smelling bed**

Dear Diary,

Sorry for waking you up so early, but in all honesty why should you care? You're a Diary!

Wow I think I am losing it.

Well before I am carted off to some mental hospital for invisible kids with pink diaries and cats I must write down why I am awake at this early hour. The twins who sleep here with me just came in and were talking about having a catchphrase. Which got me thinking that I should have a catchphrase.

Problem is I have no idea what to say.

Or if anyone would notice my awesome catchphrase.

**Twenty minutes later**

Dear Diary,

So far I have Oh Snap!, Not again!, and Chocolate purple monkey!

I am very fond of the last one.

Thanks to Euglena and her annoying meowing I cannot fall back asleep. I have a big date with Chaney today I would like to be well rested.

I am not sure if it is a "big" date, but Chaney said so.

Well I better try going to asleep.

**10 seconds later**

Dear Diary,

The fumes from my new hairstyle really smells and I think I might gag.

I told Chaney that a weird smell is a side effect of too many hair potions, but she told she knows everything and that it is not a concern.

Trust me Diary it is not a good thing to argue with a woman!

**9:37 am **

**Breakfast in the Great Hall**

Dear Diary,

If you are wondering why my face is covered in oatmeal it is because Al twice now had to stop me falling asleep in my oatmeal.

The third time he let though.

Lily told me that oatmeal is very good for the skin, but I just feel like an idiot.

**10:12 am**

**My Dorm with Chaney**

**(No Diary we were not doing anything!)**

Dear Diary,

I find it very awkward that girls can be in the Guys' dormitory but not vice versa. Especially since it is very pervy that Chaney is up here with me and is picking out my clothes.

**Chaney:** Why do you have an apple core in your trunk?

**Me:** It once was an apple.

Chaney wants me to look nice for her date, but I feel like a dress up doll. She also pointed out my pimple problem and offered some treatment.

**Chaney:** Try lemon juice! It works wonder on my skin.

At first I asked her if she had pimples, but she just blushed and summoned the stuff.

**Ten minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Never drink lemon juice!

**Ten more minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Chaney showed that I am supposed to let it sit on my face, but we gave up when Tulu tried to attack my face and lick it with her tongue.

Cat's have disgusting tongues that feel like sandpaper. Thinking of sandpaper just brings up another bad memory…

**Another ten minutes have passed**

**(Okay it sound boring, but that is what my clock says)**

Dear Diary,

Chaney left to go change and now I am standing here like an idiot while waiting for her.

Well seeing that I am writing in a pink diary makes me look like an idiot, but oh well.

I wanted to sit with Scor and Al, but they are snogging…

Ow! Why do people like to hit me with objects like paper and shoes?

Oh, Al wants me to come over. He better not ask me to join them

**Al:** Going off on a date with your boyfriend?

**Me:** Er…Chaney is a girl

**Al:** But I thought you were the girl in the relationship?

**Me:** No I checked and I am definitely the guy.

Al just laughed, but Scor poked him on his side for being rude.

**Scor:** Well if you don't want to go then don't go.

**Al:** Have you seen Chaney? She is a controlling beast.

**Chaney:** HUGO! Time to go.

**Al:** Push her into the lake for me. Also James wants me to tell you that practice is tomorrow.

Diary, I don't think I could take another practice. James purposely teases me and Chaney so I threw the quaffle at him.

That was not the best idea especially seeing that he was holding a beater bat while showing a beater a new technique. However, I do have a very nice bruise

**11:26 am**

**The Lake**

Dear Diary,

The date is not going well at all. Chaney keeps getting annoyed that I would rather write in you then talk to her, but I find you more interesting.

First thing we did was walk down to the lake hand-in-hand. My hand got all sweaty so we had to stop several times for her to dry her hands on my clothes.

Then we sat down in front of some tree to watch the lake. I told her that we could have watched the lake from the tower, but she said this was more romantic.

Diary how is sitting under a tree with creepy-crawlers and oogalie-boogalies all over the place?

I think one made a home in my pants.

**Five minutes, and one wet cheek, later**

Dear Diary,

Chaney tried to make-out with me. I stopped her and told her that making-out could lead to other things and then a baby.

She called me immature

If you ask me I was being thoughtful. I do not want any little Hugos at the moment.

Ow! Chaney hit me on the arm.

**Chaney:** Close that thing and speak to me!

**Me:** Hi?

**12:18 pm**

**Common Room**

Dear Diary,

Our date was cut short when Chaney fell in to the lake. She thought it would be romantic for us to run in and out of the waters laughing our heads off.

Instead she slipped and fell in. If you ask me I think the giant squid grabbed her. I owe him a high-five…or high-tentacle?

Chaney ran up to her room and refuses to talk to me while her ugly friend kicked me in the shin.

It is very hard to please women!

**I** **have no idea how much time has passed cause I can't see the clock**

Dear Diary,

Scor and Al watched her kick me, I guess they never left their spot, and Al started to laugh. Luckily this time they were not snogging but I guess talking.

Scor told him off for laughing at me and Al said for him to cool it that he was only having fun.

They are fighting now. Scor says I am a delicate soul who shouldn't be laughed at while Al is saying I am a punching bag and should be treated as such unless I "man up"

Can I just be a delicate punching bag?

**Ten-ish Minutes later**

Dear Diary,

I guess I am not the only one with relationship problems.

Scor is sitting on my bed and is very upset. Me and Rachel, she joined us after watching the two fight, have been trying to soothe him, but he is still pouting and laying in a fetal position. The only bright side is he is not crying, but he says Malfoys never cry.

I wonder if that is some type of condition.

**Rachel:** Is that a type of condition?

I knew we were friends for a reason. Scor at least laughed at that but he is still sad.

**Look Down**

Dear Diary,

Al came up after thirty minutes.

**Me:** Hey Al, want to join in on our card game?

It is very hard to play against Rachel for I know she is cheating, I just haven't proved it yet.

**Al:** Er…no. I want to talk to Scor.

Rachel went "Aw!" making Al blush. He walked over to my bed and started cuddling up against Scor.

I am very unsure if me and Rachel should leave, but we continued on with our game and ignored them.

**Al:** I am sorry my little Stinger for being so rude. You are right and I was thoughtless.

**Scor:** That does not make things better.

**Al**: Will this?

Now they are making out on my bed.

Me: I don't care what you two do, but my curtains will stay open!

I still do not know if magical guys can get preggo- which I think I should know for my Talk- but if they can then I do not want to tell my little cousin that he was made on my bed.

That would be awkward.

**Al:** Why you little perv? So you can watch us?

**Rachel:** No so I can!

The couple laughed at this and went back to what they were doing.

I cannot help but wonder if Rachel would be a better girlfriend than Chaney. She is way much nicer, prettier, and gets me…but oh well

**Fifteen minutes, and six losses at cards, later**

Dear Diary,

Me and Rachel decided to leave my dorm for Al and Scor were getting serious.

As we were walking down I saw Chaney and her friends sitting around in the common room. They all looked at me with glares, and I wanted to retreat back upstairs to my dorm-and risk my eyes burning- but Rachel held me still.

**Chaney:** Why are you with her and coming down from your dorm!

She burst in to tears and now I feel bad, but Rachel does not feel the same.

**Rachel:** Her has a name and nothing went down between us you jealous twit.

Chaney's ugly friend growled like an angry dog but she stopped when Chaney patted her head. Maybe she is part dog…that must have been awkward if that is true.

**Chaney:** How can I believe that.

**Hugo:** Because Scor and Al are in there doing stuff on my bed.

That came out wrong and Chaney realized that.

**Chaney:** You two were up there with another couple! You are such a cheater.

**Hugo:** No I think Rachel is.

Rachel laughed, but Chaney did not.

**Fifty-ish seconds later**

Dear Diary,

I am now a free man on the market.

**Five minutes later**

**My Dorm**

Dear Diary,

That felt really weird to say, but Chaney broke up with me saying that I cheated on her and stuff. All we did was play cards.

Chaney also said she still wanted her kitten. Maybe I will give her the one that pukes up hairballs a lot. Or the one that had diarrhea on James' bed.

**Two minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Rachel is trying to make me feel better, but I already feel fine.

I guess Catrina also tried to make me feel better, but her idea of feeling better is by puking up on my shirt. Her kitten mewed happily at that.

Scor and Al are no help, and frankly I am not even sure if they are still alive because my curtains are closed and there are no sounds. I decided not to check though.

**Ten minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Rachel kissed me! I asked her what that was for, and she said that she has liked me for awhile and wanted to kill Chaney every time she saw her.

Diary, I think my life is improving!

**Ten more minutes- and an owl to the head- later**

Dear Diary,

Remember when I said everything was going great? Well things have gotten better for me and Rachel are secretly dating until things brew over with Chaney.

Then everything died for mum sent me a letter saying she wants to start a Mother and Me class during Spring Break. I guess she forgot I am not a kid and that it is my birthday that week!

I am so looking forward to that…not!

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_**: )**_


	15. Chapter 15 Belly Dancing and a Birthday

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Chapter 15:

Belly Dancing and a Birthday

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**April 19, 10:04 am**

**My Bed**

Dear Diary,

I think this will be the worst spring break ever! I mean I am happy to be with Rachel and I really like her, but something tragic has happened:

Scor and Al have broken up!

Whoa Diary calm down and stop shaking!

Wait that is my hand.

Anyway I was very shocked when Scor sent me this note:

_Hugo, I hope your Spring break is well for mine is completely ruined. Al just sent me this:_

_**Scor, The past months with you have been great, but that was until I found out from my friend that you have been cheating on me with another Slytherin. At first I did not believe this, but then I figured you must have moved on. Heck us dating probably was a faze. Please do not write me back for all I will do is burn the note.**_

_Can you believe this! He says I was cheating. No I will not write back for I do not need to explain myself. Well see you later and have fun and you Mommy and Me class._

**One Owl Shaped Bruise On My Head Later…**

Dear Diary,

I think I have a magnet in my head for my Owl managed to pelt me with its furry body. At first I thought it was a feather duster getting its revenge when I used it to clean my ceiling fan on the day I came back.

I found Scabbers up there also. He was eating a piece of corn.

**10 seconds later**

Dear Diary,

I am so confused at what Al just sent me:

_**Hey Hugoster, It is official: me and Scor broke up. How do I feel? Like a muggle truck ran me over and my guts spilled all over the sides.**_

I found that to be a bit graphic.

_**Scor sent me this:**_

_Al you will always have a place in my heart, but it is time we took a break. You have been way to jealous and I really need my space. Have a nice Sping Break._

_**Can you believe that! Me jealous! Whatever for I do not care. Have a good break for I won't be.**_

**5 minutes later**

Dear Diary,

For now I will ignore the fact about Al's handwriting looking different a second time and look at the bigger picture…

WILMA THE CAT YOU WILL PUT THAT DOWN! Wait why did I write that?

**10 minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Sorry but Wilma tried to eat Scabbers. I think she is mad at me for giving away all her kittens except for one that turned out to have reddish fur.

I named him Radish

Oh Yes Chaney did get the one that likes to spit out hair balls and I gave the diarrhea one to her ugly part dog friend.

Where was I? Oh yes I am very hungry and deserve a snack.

**15 minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Ew mum offered me a piece of broccoli and that reminded me of Al adding on to my Talk during dinner a few weeks ago.

He made the broccoli and the celery stick mate.

Wait going back to Al I find it very strange that they broke up on two different reasons. I will investigate on that soon!

**April 21, 8:32 am**

**Waaay to Early!**

**Kitchen**

Dear Diary,

Dad is laughing at me. Mum is making me wear a shirt that says "mummy's little boy" to our class today.

**30 seconds later**

Dear Diary,

I told Dad that at least I could wear medium sized shirts compared to the size he wears. That shut him up and now he is eating…celery!

**Me:** Hey Dad, Al showed me something very interesting involving broccoli and celery!

**Dad:** Knowing you it is something vulgar. Be careful eating that pudding for it will spill on your shirt.

Wow what a hypocrite he is seeing that he spilled peanut butter on his shirt!

**Dad:** Hun, speaking of Al did you hear about him and that Malfoy boy splitting up.

**Mum:** His name is Scorpius and yes I did. Ginny told me Al is very cut up about it…poor boy.

Diary, mum just earned some respect points in my book.

Respect Points:

_Out of 400_

Mum- 226

Uncle Harry- 300

Aunt Ginny- 300

Scor- 402

Al- 334

James- 75 (that is very generous if you ask me!)

Rose- 0

Rachel- 500 (Okay yes that is biased but she is my girlfriend!)

Dad- -500

**Fat Man:** I am shocked that he is upset for out of all the guys and girls in Hogwarts he picks that Malfoy boy!

**Me:** Scor is my friend.

**Largo:** And if he stays your friend he probably will steal your girlfriend…er Chaney. He is probably like a snake, just like his father.

**Me:** Me and Chaney are through…

**Ginormous:** Exactly my point!

**Me:** And now I am dating Rachel. Seeing that you know so much about relationships…how many did you have at Hogwarts and when did you get your first kiss?

Dad (aka all the previous names) is turning a very nice shade of red. It reminds me of ketchup. Yum.

Wait I do not find my father's red face very yummy but the thought of ketchup. If I found my dad yummy that would be odd.

**Mum:** Hugo just go upstairs and finish getting ready.

Does not matter that Dad did not answer my question for Uncle Harry told me dad had only one girlfriend at got his first kiss at 16.

I am glad to say that I have beat my dad…

Wait no, Rose wins for all I know she has already have a threesome. Al told me that is when you kiss two people at once while eating pudding.

That could get messy.

**3 minutes later**

**My Room**

Dear Diary,

Updated Respect Points:

Dad- -1,000

**9:45 am**

**Hiding in the Workout Closet**

Dear Diary,

Mum signed us up for the wrong class! This is a Mommy and Me Belly dancing session.

Wait why are little girls learning belly dancing? Do these mothers want their daughter to turn out like Rose?

Maybe everybody needs the Talk!

**30 minutes later**

**Break Time**

Dear Diary,

The instructor told me I am a natural at Belly dancing. Is that a compliment?

**12:32 pm**

**My Bed With Very Sore Abs**

Dear Diary,

I feel like me and my mom have bonded even more at this session. Even though I did see her belly button.

I wonder if anybody knows that she once had it pierced?

**April 23****rd**

**MY BIRTHDAY!**

Dear Diary,

I nearly had a heart attack! You were missing for days and I just found you on my birthday today. After my class we went over to the Potters to cheer up Al. I showed him my new belly dancing and now Uncle Harry, Al, and James now know how to do the dance also.

When I got home you were gone!

But now I have you back and…

Wait there is writing on the next page…

_**Hugo, You are a great cousin and I swear this was all James' idea! Okay so it was mine so do not get mad. This is our birthday gift to you. Have a happy birthday you invisible child.**_

_**Al**_

**Huey my boy I apologize for trying to drown you when you were five. I know realized that you are not a waste of space. Happy Hatching Day and do not screw up in our big game against Ravenclaw when we get back.**

**James**

**Hugo, I apologize now for my sons' comments earlier. The Potter family loves you much and have a great birthday.**

**-Aunt Ginny, Uncle Harry, and Lily**

Hugo, We love you so much and have a Happy Birthday. Ron do you want to add anything?

Um what your mother said. Also if I find out that you were the one who replaced my snack drawer with carrots then

Your father means he loves you.

-Your Parents

Hugo, even though you suck as a brother have a nice birthday. You are also lucky that Al stopped me from reading anything in this girly thing for if you put anything bad I would have killed you.

-Rose

_**Hugo, I am so glad that you are my boyfriend and I am amazed at how much you have changed since we first met last year when kids would mistake you for chairs. You may not have noticed this, but you are surely getting recognized. Have a Happy Birthday and I will give you a kiss when you return to school. ; )**_

_**-Rachel**_

_Hugo, I was really shocked when an Owl brought me a pink Diary, but I found this to be a nice idea. Sorry for being a bad friend, but I hope I redeemed myself to you. You are a great pal and Have a even greater birthday!_

_-Scor_

Diary I am so loved!

**5:37 pm**

**My Party!**

Dear Diary,

They gave me a surprise party! Even Scor showed up and he and Al have been civil. I have a lot of presents (Good ones too including sweets, a new comb-magicked to not vreak- and other neat stuff!) and I got to show everyone my belly dancing routine with mum.

Dad tried to copy us, but he has way to much belly, and managed to fall over on to a lamp.

This is the best party ever.

**Two hours later**

Dear Diary,

Scratch that. This party now sucks.

I just saw Rose and Scor go up to her room and shut the door. Only me and Al saw this for Dad was passing out drinks to the adults and all my underage cousins , and Racehl, were trying to take advantage over the drunk parents and have a sip to.

AL looks upset.

**Me:** Are you okay.

**Al:** Sure Hugo. To be honest I have been talking with this one girl in my class. I hope he is happier with her.

I hope he is not.

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_**: )**_


	16. Chapter 16 Big Game, Bad Kiss

_**A/N: This story is coming to a close soon! One more chapter and then an epilogue. Love to all my readers.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Chapter 16:

Big Game, Bad Kiss

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**Saturday May 2****nd****, 3:04 am**

**My Bed feeling sad**

Dear Diary,

Rose and Scor are back together. I think I might kill myself.

Scratch that for I am not some emu- that is the Goth person right? I shall kill Rose. Maybe I will go cause some trouble in Canada

It has been to quiet in there for too long. Just kidding for Canadians do not deserve my sadness and anger.

**The Gryffindor changing room**

**9: 37 am**

Dear Diary,

Today is the big game against Ravenclaw. Scor says he will try and watch to support me, but Rose doesn't want him to.

I already think I am losing my best friend.

Chaney keeps giving me looks, but I just smile back in my adorable smile that Rachel says makes me look like a creepy old man. Do I really look old? I should check a mirror.

**Ten Minutes and one Fruit juice box later**

Dear Diary,

James told me to stop looking in the mirror while drinking my juice for I am acting like an idiot and I need to keep my head in the game. Then he went back to talking to Al. The reason James is giving Al a pep talk is because he is still sad about Scor and Rose; even though he won't admit it.

I have no idea who James could pep anybody up, but at least he is trying.

**30 Seconds Later**

Dear Diary,

James promised to take Al to a male and female strip club during the summer.

**Two Minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Al is happy now and is really pumped up to play. I just hope I will not screw up.

**James:** Okay I want us to go out there and play one hell of a game!

**Me:** Auntie Ginny does not like it when you use that word.

**Al:** He is right.

**Chaney:** What word?

I always figured she was slower than a giraffe.

Wait are those slow?

**James:** You guys need to get serious.

**Me:** But he is dead.

**James:** HUGO!

**Al:** Chill James, that is how he gets ready for a big game.

**Hugo:** But this is my first game.

**James:** Whatever so are you ready?

We all did a cheer and then had a small dance party to get the nerves out. One of the beaters beat boxed and I did my belly dancing routine.

I have been practicing.

**2: 28 pm**

**Great Hall for some late grub**

Dear Diary,

We won the game! I saved a bunch of possible goals except for three but the sun was in my eyes, and the last two I was hit by a bludger.

I think I have a huge bruise, but I don't care!

After we took a victory lap and got the trophy, Rachel gave me a kiss for almost a minute.

I am starting to like the whole snogging thing.

**Same place, but like five-ish minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Everybody knows my name now! A lot of people are saying hi and told me that I am doing a good job. They say they have never seen such great saves and ask what my secret is.

James told them it is because he is my captain and that I have a girly diary.

I told them it was very manly.

Oh I better go for it looks like Scor wants to talk to me.

**R.O.R**

**15 minutes Later (I can't honestly tell for I did not ask for a clock)**

Dear Diary,

Scor says he came to the game without Rose and that she is very angry at him. I told him good and that he belongs with Al. He just sighed and handed me a butter beer.

**Me:** I better get going for the party…

**Scor:** Please do not leave just yet.

**Me:** What is wrong?

**Scor:** Life. I have no idea what is going on and I have so many emotions…

Am I supposed to comfort him? What should I do? Maybe I will pat his head like I do for Wren and Radish.

**Me:** Um… things will get better.

**Scor:** Hugo I want to try something so please don't freak out.

**Me:** Why would I freak out…

**The safety of Gryffindor Common Room**

**3: 45 pm**

Dear Diary,

SCOR JUST KISSED ME!

It felt all wrong and after he did for like a second I pushed him away and ran. I would never like him that way, but I just hope I wasn't to rude.

Was spitting and wiping off my lips before I ran away rude?

I though kissing Chaney was bad, but that was worst.

**Rachel:** Hugo why don't you have a firewhiskey? James smuggled some through your Uncle.

**Me:** Smore Just kwisshed meh

**Rachel:** Are you on something, because I want two.

**Me:** Scor just kissed me.

**Rachel:** Oh…

Rachel says she is not going to kill him, but that he must be very confused at this time. She says that he just broke up with someone who he possibly loved, rushed back in to a bad relationship, and now has no idea what to do.

For now she told me to wait to talk to him, if I am up to it, and to enjoy the party.

She is very smart.

**Sunday May 3****rd****, 1:09 am**

**Still Partying**

Dear Diary,

Rachel was right that I should enjoy the party.

Somehow people from other houses are here and joining in on the fun, even some of the Ravenclaws showed up. Then we all belly danced to a song.

The best part was when the headmaster came up here just in time to see James run around in his boxers. He claims that it was a dare, but I think it was because he had a lot of mead and firewhiskey.

The headmaster did not get mad but actually started to dance and talk with the students.

Besides the obvious stench of death here I actually like Hogwarts!

**10: 19 am, Common Room**

**I think I fell asleep in here next to Rachel and others**

Dear Diary,

I am one of the few people who do not have a hangover in the common room today. Rachel, who also does not have a hangover, told me she would give me a galleon to slam a book very loudly.

I almost did not do it.

**6: 09 pm, Great Hall**

Dear Diary,

I think I am hallucinating- I learned that word from James after he ate some bad chocolate- for I see people writing in something and then hiding it when anybody looks.

People have diaries! A lot of guys choose girly… dang I mean manly pink and purple while girls have blue and green.

At first I thought it was a very rude joke- I know rude jokes for my dad is one- but Rachel told me I have fans now.

This is what it feels like to be visible.

**Fifteen minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Scor approached me and apologized. I told him that it was alright and to never do it again. He just laughed and said okay and that he owes me.

I asked him to break up with Rose.

**Scor:** I just cannot do that.

**Me:** You can't?

He wouldn't explain, but says we can sneak out to Hogsmeade with Rachel and chat with the Hogshead barman.

Aberforth is a funny man. James told me he has a thing for goats, but I guess you could say I have the same thing with candy.

That is what James meant right?

**My Bed**

**An hour later**

Dear Diary,

Okay so Hogwarts has lost some respect points now. I found a dead rat inside my trunk. It must have been a prank by one of the house elves after I told them they are very lazy for letting dead things reside in Hogwarts.

The house elf told me to shut up, which I found very rude.

**5 minutes later**

Dear Diary,

The rat is Scabbers.

**30 seconds later**

Dear Diary,

He is also alive. I guess I am also the owner of a rat who likes to play dead.

And a cat who thinks it is okay to lick herself on my pillow while a kitten watches. Luckily for Radish I covered his eyes with one of my socks.

5 Minutes later

Dear Diary,

I had to take the sock off his eyes because he managed to crash in to my bed post, fall off my bed, stumble in to a desk, and pass out from the smell of my sock.

**One sock free cat later**

Dear Diary,

Well I better get ready for bed. Tomorrow James says he is going to show Lily a cool trick with fire so I have to be near to put it out.

If only I knew a water charm.

Oh well.

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_**I only need three more reviews to reach 100! Please help out with my goal and review! : )**_


	17. Chapter 17 Truth, Hole, and Love

_**A/N: Oh My Gosh! Thank you guys so much for helping me reach my goal! I couldn't stop smiling for the entire day! Well here is the last chapter before the Epilogue!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Chapter 17:

Truth, Hole, and Love

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**June 26, 6:04 pm**

**My Sad Room**

Dear Diary,

I am a very sad boy living in a sad world. I was supposed to have a great summer, but my stupid dad ruined things!

Like when he ruined my fourth birthday party by getting drunk, pushing the clown in to my cake, and letting Rose play with my presents.

I liked that clown.

**10 Minutes later**

Dear Diary,

I found a bagel underneath my bed! Finally some sustenance for I am very hungry and dad has not fed me yet.

There is some strange brown thing on it, but I shall eat it anyway.

**5 Seconds later**

Dear Diary,

It was a raisin… yuck! I mean even mold would have been better than raisins! Those remind me of Auntie Muriel.

Like Gramma Weasley, she calls me Quentin or Stacey; my name depends on her mood. She also is like a gazillion years old and my uncles, and dad, hate her. Sometimes she can be mean, like when she made me clean her teeth, other times she can be nice.

One time she let me eat ice cream while dad and Rose had to watch; she says that Rose is a girl and should not eat sweets while dad is getting fat and does not need any.

After that day I gave her a hug.

**15 Minutes, and another bite, later**

Dear Diary,

I am so sad that I forgot to write why I am even sad! Mum says I have a short attention span. I do not get why she said that for I can be very focused…

Do I smell something burning?

**6:58 pm**

Dear Diary,

Everything is okay. Dad was simply trying to cook dinner for mum has a big case tonight. I guess instead of having chicken with mashed potatoes we will be having TV dinners.

I am now sitting here and glaring at my dad to make sure that he does not break our microwave.

**Dad: **Why are you sitting there and staring at me? Don't you have better things to do?

**Me: ** I rather make sure you do not kill me in a fire.

Dad told me not to be cheeky and leave before he throws a spatula at me. There must be some type of law against him.

I once asked mum if there was, but she just laughed and went back to talking to Aunt Ginny.

Speaking of a Potter, dad and Uncle Harry had a row so now I can't see my cousins. Apparently Uncle gave up the minister position and instead of asking Dad they asked some other, skinnier, man. He was furious and got in to an argument.

There goes my plan of hiding out in the Potter house while eating cookies and having Lily attempt to brush my hair.

She also uses a scented gel that makes my scalp feel good.

**June 30****th****, 3:28pm**

**My Room**

Dear Diary,

Dad found out about Rose and Scor thanks to some little boy who accidently told him.

If Scor sees this, I apologize now but I had a lot of chocolate milk, and that drink always makes me feel giddy.

Dad is furious at her and now won't speak to her. Rose is in shock for she is used to being Daddy's little girl while being an undercover slut.

Now all she does is walk around the house wearing a pink robe and eating ice cream. Diary I must tell you that while some women look nice without make-up, but Rose looks terrible.

**Same day, twenty minutes later**

**Same Sad Place**

Dear Diary,

Have you ever had the feeling that someone is reading your mail? I was brought a letter from Al- stating about his plans to sneak me over- when I noticed the seal was broken.

Can owls read?

**Ten minutes, and Rose's stupid crying, Later**

Dear diary,

I have decided to apologize to Rose. I must be coming down with something… maybe I have dragon pox!

**10ish Minutes later**

**Rose's Girly Room**

Dear Diary,

I now feel as though someone is watching me, but that does not matter for I found the weirdest thing. There is balled up pieces of parchment written in different handwritings talking about Scor's and Al's breaking up…

Holy jeez! Rose wrote these notes!

Maybe she broke Al and Scor up!

I must write them quickly!

**30 Minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Okay after my snack of cookies and more milk, strawberry milk even though it give some gas, I will now write them.

**Who cares about time?**

Dear Diary,

I am now too depressed to write.

Al just sent me another note saying that he told his mum about our plans of sneaking me over. She told my mum, who agreed, but my dad happened to overhear. He says I should watch my back.

First how does one watch their back?

Two, I now know the reason why dad was glaring at me at the table.

I just thought it was cause I am drop dead handsome.

**July 5****th****, 10:34 am**

**My Room**

Dear Diary,

I have decided to live in a hole! Now all I have to do is pack up some things.

**10 Seconds later**

Dear Diary,

And make a hole.

**Outside in the backyard that need some work**

**11:08 am**

Dear Diary,

I have decided this for no one in my family will care if I am gone and the hole will be my only safe place. The only problem I see is that if I want to start a family they will have to live in the hole with me and my wife…

Not having a bathroom could get awkward!

**Sweaty and tired**

**5:25 pm**

Dear Diary,

My hole is only three feet deep. Better keep digging.

**1 hour and another foot later**

Dear Diary,

So what if I gave up! I have very girly arms… or that is what dad told me even though I am an excellent keeper.

**July 6****th****, Noon**

**My New hole/home**

Dear Diary,

I have finally moved in to my six foot hole with Radish and some snacks and a pillow. I wanted to bring Harriet, but she spat at me and dove under my bed.

I would have fetched her, but her creepy yellow cat eyes were staring at me from underneath the darkness under my bed along with a pair of red eyes…

**Two Hours later**

Dear Diary,

Twice now I had to stop Radish from using the hole as a litter box. Finally I just pushed him out, let him do his business, and brought him back in.

Living in this hole is not to fun, especially when I saw a worm. I think it smiled at me.

**In the tiny hole**

**4:38 pm**

Dear Diary,

Rachel is now in the hole with me. She says that she came by to hang out with me after Al told her what happened.

Apparently he told her to make sure I don't kill myself.

**Rachel:** So what is with the hole?

I explained to her why I was in here.

**Rachel:** Do you ever think? Your parents are worried sick about you! I came here to find your mother crying while your dad is making frantic phone calls. Even Rose looked sad.

**Me:** What makes you say that?

**Rachel:** She was painting her nails blue.

**Quick Snog and Fifteen Minutes later**

Dear Diary,

Rachel finally coaxed me out the hole. She says my parents do care, but in a special way. I told her how my dad thinks I am special and she laughed.

I can't wait to see how "upset" my family is.

**In My Room With Rachel**

**6:23pm**

Dear Diary,

I think I broke a rib!

**10 Seconds later**

Dear Diary,

As soon as I walked in mum pulled me in to a hug and started to cry all over my shirt. Dad then pulled her off of me and then hugged me.

Yes he hugged me.

Even I am in shock!

Then Rose hugged me and I almost died.

**30 Seconds later**

Dear Diary,

I first thought this was all a charade so I told my parents I was in a hole and that they wouldn't care if I was gone.

**Dad:** Hugo why do you think we wouldn't care?

**Me:** Cause you guys never care.

**Mum:** Hugo we love you and were so worried! We could never stop caring about our little boy.

**Me:** But you guys always ignore me!

**Dad:** Because we just felt that you were an independent person who liked to be on their own. We love you Hugo!

I am starting to like this man.

**Alone in my Room for Rachel left**

**Almost Midnight**

Dear Diary,

My parents let me pick out dinner tonight so I picked my favorite food: French fries and burgers with chocolate milk.

And there will be no cottage cheeses!

Also me and Rachel had some of our own fun after dinner…

We played Monopoly and snogged!

Life actually feels good for once.

_**Did you like?**_

_**Time for the Epilogue!**_

_**Reviews are sweeter than chocolate milk**_


	18. Epilogue

_**A/N: Not to sound like a dork, but I love you guys so much for sticking with me! Thank you so much for all the reviews, praise, etc.!**_

_**ENJOY!**_

Epilogue

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"_Hey daddy!" cried Henry as he ran up to his father. His dad was quietly lounging in their living room, with the rest of his siblings, and telling another story about his child hood._

_They little boy jumped in to his dad's lap as his father asked, "What is it son?"_

_Henry proudly showed him a faded pick diary; the pages were turning yellow, but when Hugo skimmed through it he noticed that the ink had not faded._

"_My old Diary!"_

"_Daddy has a girl pink diary," teased his second oldest son._

_Hugo laughed at this. "No it is a manly pink diary, and you guys should run along to play before dinner." His children did as told and went off to have their own fun. _

_After making sure they kids were gone, Hugo grabbed a quill and opened to a fresh new page._

Dear Diary,

Well long time no write, right? I guess after my second year I did not need you anymore.

I am sorry, but it is the truth. The rest of my school years went very well and I was well admired by many… including some girls ; )

That does not matter for I stayed with Rachel and we have been married since!

So maybe I should catch you up!

So me and Rachel have five kids. Our oldest is Quentin and he is just like my mum; no he is not girl but very smart. Which surprised my family for he came from me.

Next is the twins Ryan and Renee who are just like James… which can be very funny except for when they charmed their grandfather to trip for entire day… then they can be hilarious.

Henry is my third son and is a very shy boy, but he has a nice heart. I guess you could say he takes after me… poor child : )

Finally there is my little princess Rita. She is a sweetheart and loves to live in an imagination world. Well what can you expect, she is only six!

**15 Minutes, and some tape, later**

Dear Diary,

Sorry about the tear, but Ryan wanted to see if I was writing bad stuff about him.

So on to the Potter family! James ended up settling down with two kids. Everyone was shocked when he proposed to his girlfriend for we expected him to become a pimp or something.

Lily also married to some nice muggle man, so she is very happy with her son.

Al is more interesting, so I will talk about him later.

First my dear sister Rose married Scor. The marriage lasted only five years with three kids- dad was not to happy when he found our Rose was pregnant a year before they married.

Now Al also married, but he lost his wife to a potion accident two years after Rose and Scor called it quits. They had three boys and a girl.

After of a year of them being bachelors, the two are now back together with their family of seven. Rose also married six months after Scor divorced her… I think she was cheating on him, but their marriage was not perfect.

Finally I am an Auror and hopefully will be next Head Auror once Uncle Harry retires! Rachel is a muggle counselor in her spare time. James is co-owner of Weasley Wizard Wheezes with Fred II. Al and Scor are Medi-Wizards and actually studied together when they were younger- me and Rachel still wonder if they actually studied during that time. Now here is the biggest shocker, Rose is a marriage counselor

Talk about Irony, right?

Molly also quit her smoking habit.

**Chocolate Milk Break with the Kids**

Dear Diary,

I never found out the source of death in Hogwarts, or why flies can land on the ceiling. Also none of the previous adults found out that I was the one spiking foods at parties; I still do so time to time and even showed Ryan and Renee how too. Maybe I have some more growing up to do!

Well it is time for dinner. Mac and Cheese… not cottage cheese.

Speaking of that, Rachel made me clean up my talk before giving it to the kids!

Farewell my manly pink friend.

-Hugo Ronald Weasley

: ) : ( ; ) :D :O : )

_**Well thank you guys again for staying with me during the entire story! I never meant for it to go on so long, but it was fun to write.**_

_**Thanks especially for being patient after I disappeared for awhile! You guys are really great and I hope you enjoy my newer stories that will be very fun!**_

Revenge Starts with W

Holy Terrors and the Sitter

_**Will I ever do another Hugo story? Maybe, it will be a super funny one… or dramatic. Or I might be done with Hugo Weasley… for now : )**_

_**Love to all of you and have a safe and fun life!**_


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